This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Was ready to brave the head on wind and nothing.. although did nearly get taken out by a bus running a red light round old street round a bout and then a taxi honked at me because he felt I wasn't far enough over in the cycle lane. He looked terrified when I tapped on his window asking what is issue was when he had to stop at the red light 3 meters after using said horn.

Two vehicle crashes in two days. This morning a bus had made a left turn off Uxbridge Rd so tight that it had mounted the curb and wedged its side-doors into a bollard. #fail

There was also something going on in Acton last night - police tape and emergency services? Didn't see any crashed stuff, another stabbing?

Agreed, rode past in the opposite direction this morning (i.e. going from Dulwich village, up Calton avenue towards Green Dale) and took a closer look. It's such a massive mess. The alignment of the road just leads to the assumption that by going right you're following the carriageway, whereas you'd actually be making a right turn across the path of oncoming traffic. No way the markings are clear enough to override that feeling. Cue massive accident.

Depressing, the whole thing took months to make and was meant to make the junction more cycle-friendly. Coupled with the wider pavements (which translate into pinch points for cyclists at the lights) and the whole thing looks like a waste of time. I don't normally moan about this kind of shit but this one baffles me.

I had my (admittedly shitty) bike written off when a briefcase wanker sprinted out of the london bridge side entrance, straight into the road and rugby tackled me from the side knocking me into the oncoming lane a couple of metres in front of a bus that thankfully was just pulling into the stop when it happened.

He dropped his briefcase which popped open, he picked it up, closed it, and just kept running, didn't even look in my direction to see if I was ok. couple of bystanders came over to help pick me up and make sure I had my lights that flew off and my lock which flew out of my belt holster and landed about 3 metres away.

I hadn't noticed but my bottom bracket shell was literally hanging together by 2 cm of metal, limped my way into office in clerkenwell with blood pouring down my arm and leg. luckily as the pedal felt spongy I took it home on train, ordered a new chainset as thought it was fucked, flipped the bike over to fit it with @Stonehedge and went oh shit, that's not right.

and you've been sat inside London Bridge station every day for the last three years waiting to see the prick again. I've never seen anyone beaten to death with a briefcase but I imagine it would be somewhat messy.

My tramp beard is a disguise so I can sit by the exit and no one even takes a second look.

I've killed 500 briefcase people so far but not convinced i've definitely found him yet.

luckily most briefcase people are twats so no ones missed anyone yet and I remain undetected.

You're doing good work. There are a lot of partners enjoying the fruits of those life insurance policies.

Find anything worth having in the briefcases or do you just chuck them in the thames or whatever without even looking inside?

Mucky commute to the studio via Epping today with @Manson7am

2 Attachments

You can be my briefcase wanker

Tell me about it, my body is in agony and I’ve been in bed by 8 every night this week. I’m wrecked.

Top commute!

And still a day to go :(

Not helped by my rubbing mudguard either!

I seem to have noticed a sudden increase in the amount of pedestrian people who decide to start crossing the road just as the traffic light goes green. Like this happening at every 3rd set of lights on my recent commutes. What is going on.

People are idiots. I don't think this is anything new though.

winter

Countdown pedestrian crossing signals. I'm pretty sceptical of them as a ped. I tend to now start crossing the road with 5 secs to go showing, when I wouldn't have started after 5 secs of a red man. I think.

Countdown comes before red man. After 5s of red it's always green traffic. Or have I misunderstood you?

Couple of years ago there was a tree felled on the way to work, blocking the road. Got off bike and hopped onto the pavement for a good pic, when I'm suddenly interrupted by someone hitting the horn. Turn around and a car is on the pavement, angrily gesturing at me to get out of the way and let them though.

Yes, dear reader, in the case of the road being blocked, they drove straight up onto the pavement and were pushing through peds walking along the pavement.

Did you take a photo of the car?

Then did you shit on the bonnet and take another photo?

If not, why not?!

I had a similar experience in 2016 when a bus broke down on Blackfriars bridge (at the start of it, where it's still single lane)... so "logically", all the cars decided to drive up the segregated cycle lane.

I was so confused when I saw headlights coming at me. I thought I'd zoned out and joined the vehicle lane somehow.

A few years ago I got stopped by the driver of an oncoming car to warn me of a fallen tree ahead. I guessed I could get past on my bike. A 4x4 Beemer came up behind and I flagged him down to warn him, but he sneered at me and pressed on. Two minutes later he came back down the hill, avoiding eye contact. I got past the tree Ok.
4 hours later I came back, and now there was another tree at the start of the lane. Mr Beemer driver was still in his car between the two fallen trees and unable to get out at either end and still not making eye contact.

If that's not a reason to be smug I don't know what is

Er, not sure what I was on about TBH. As you were