• I had my (admittedly shitty) bike written off when a briefcase wanker sprinted out of the london bridge side entrance, straight into the road and rugby tackled me from the side knocking me into the oncoming lane a couple of metres in front of a bus that thankfully was just pulling into the stop when it happened.

    He dropped his briefcase which popped open, he picked it up, closed it, and just kept running, didn't even look in my direction to see if I was ok. couple of bystanders came over to help pick me up and make sure I had my lights that flew off and my lock which flew out of my belt holster and landed about 3 metres away.

    I hadn't noticed but my bottom bracket shell was literally hanging together by 2 cm of metal, limped my way into office in clerkenwell with blood pouring down my arm and leg. luckily as the pedal felt spongy I took it home on train, ordered a new chainset as thought it was fucked, flipped the bike over to fit it with @Stonehedge and went oh shit, that's not right.

  • and you've been sat inside London Bridge station every day for the last three years waiting to see the prick again. I've never seen anyone beaten to death with a briefcase but I imagine it would be somewhat messy.

  • My tramp beard is a disguise so I can sit by the exit and no one even takes a second look.

    I've killed 500 briefcase people so far but not convinced i've definitely found him yet.

    luckily most briefcase people are twats so no ones missed anyone yet and I remain undetected.

About

Avatar for hippy @hippy started