Jokes / Joke du jour!

I'm Diane to come up with a few more of these. Etc...

Jonathan Ross got very excited when I asked him what the currency of India is.

Is it just going to be me or will this gain some Traction?

I CXitement has got the better of you and you're inventing Citroen models now.

Someone made a 2CV 'picasso' model
Pun level 3000

They're all genuine, mon Ami.

Two scientists walk into a bar.
"I'll have H2O," says the 1st.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the 2nd.
Bartender gives them water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

Jokes about sugar are rare.

Jokes about brown sugar?

Well, Demerara.

Love it.

A son asks his dad if he can borrow a bitcoin. Dad says, "£15,476? £10,957 is a lot of money! What do you need £17,281 for?"

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a bike?

Attire.

A manicurist friend of mine is having marital difficulties
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I think they might end up filing for divorce

Guy at work just offered me 8 legs of Venison, might be good fro Christmas dinner.

£40 though, not sure if it's 2 deer

As it is almost ' festive' time.........

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Deep pan crisp and even

What do you call a bloke with a rubber toe?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Roberto

I went out for dinner last week with my teddy bear.
"Fancy dessert?" I asked.
"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Nice beaver" etc etc

Engaged in some premarital sex the other night.

It was a bit of an anteclimax.

Dyane

Michelle Pfeiffer has a silent P.

But when she has a dump you can hear it from downstairs.

Amazing

Thanks.

In the beginning, at the time of the great flood, Noah went through his ark after it landed, and found two small snakes huddled in a corner. Noah looked at these poor specimens - and said "I told you to go forth and multiply - why haven't you?"
The poor snakes looked up at Noah and replied "We can't because we are adders....."
Noah looked a bit perplexed, and then proceeded to tear bits of planking from his ark. He went on to build a beautiful wooden platform. He gathered up the snakes and placed them on the platform, and joyfully told the snakes - "Now go forth and multiply, because even adders can multiply on a log table"

Strong page so far!