Sell my Crabon, build a steel road bike.

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At this point, the temptation to stick with blue tape, as a form of trolling you lot, is strong.

The rowdier the tape, the more it’ll attract attention away from that stem.

Get a longer stem and compact bars (deda piega) -> better looks, more ergonomic and you'll get a proper position for modern shifters.

Piegas are great. Soma HWY 1 for silver alternative

Or sand down the anodization on the sleeves and save some money:

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Perforated tape, such as Fizik Performance Classic, is good for a vintage vibe.

You'd only be trolling yourself with blue tape.

I just googled chicken korma bar tape but no joy unfortunately.

As per @PhilDAS vote, I can confirm that pink works with blue

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Why stem so short? You t-rex?

I find classic bars far more comfortable than compacts, but I ride a lot in the drops.
Also, no to chode stem and gray tape, black or white, maybe pink or yellow if you feel like having some colour.

You're right, it's subjective but it can be difficult to get a good fit with modern stis on traditional bars. The way the OP mounted them looks really impractical: no tops, not possible to ride on the hoods, lever is difficult to access from the drops and the levers almost hit the bars under braking.

Bar tape:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/BROOKS-LEATHER-BAR-TAPE-Mustard/dp/B005XZG18C

Pukes on cock

That pink bar tape is weird.

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Classic bars done right.

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Wrong.

It's looking good. Have you considered blue tyres?

Doesn't look comfy to me, I'd mount the shifters lower and tilt the bars a bit upwards. In any case, seems like the OP wants less reach (judging by the short stem) so classic bars aren't the way to go.

Benotto. Amazing to think we used to use that stuff.

I still have it on my tarck bike but I wouldn't want to ride it without gloves. But definitely a no go for a neo retro or any bike that's built for longer rides.

Have you got trolls under your window?

I did some cabling and stuff.

Bad news is that

a) I'm sure the bars are at the wrong angle, wrong reach, wrong hood mount point, wrong everything. This is my first time and I'm learning by doing, ok?

b) I can't make the front mech work at all. Whilst trying to make it work I think I pulled too hard on the lever shifter and now it is all weird and the cable stop has disappeared into the hood and I can't get the cable out and I am pretty sure I fucked it. Off to the shop tomorrow.

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Another shot

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wow .. @Señor_Bear won't be happy