Jokes / Joke du jour!

This is definitely a re, but one of my favourites.

There's a big innuendo competition coming up soon, I'm thinking of entering my dad.

I like telling dad jokes.

Most times he laughs.

I like telling dad jokes even though I'm not a father.

I'm a faux pas.

I entered an innuendo competition. I almost came first but i had to pull out.

I entered an innuendo competition but failed. Later, I had sex.

I had no idea Marvin Gaye had spent some time living in west London
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's where he wrote sexual Ealing

whoops

Just found out that Cream and The Jam were both due to reform last year for a tour of Devon and Cornwall. Unfortunately the tour organisers couldn't decide which one would go on first.

Until ITS Bill Withers, Saarf. Otherwise the joke doesn't work.

Better shortened as well in my view:

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until its Bill Withers.

This.

Were they stupid or what? Cream first in Devon, The Jam first in Cornwall. Simples.

But will be pinching that

Kill me

I need to contact Emilio Esteves. Does anybody have his emailio addressteves?

No, but I do have Kenny Loggins' login.

This

Did he collaborate or was he Acton alone?

All these puns it will surely Turnham Green.

I thin kew know the answer to that already

My partners phone password is’pudenda’,,,,,, she looked at me with a straight face and said that it means ‘entrance’

I just applied for a job with Citroen. I had to send 2CVs.

sounds like a bit of a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_FAF

Sounds like you have an AX to grind

Good old Citroen. It's good to CM referenced here.