This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Welcome to being Brown eh. Happens all the time.

Hi , I rode around with John the coach for twenty minutes or so ... nothing seen or mentioned after we'd finished .... but most people had gone by then ... hopefully it will re-appear next wednesday morning .... terrible in currant climate but I just ride my track bike home ... as is .......

Looks like @Sam_Doman first attempt at his rack

Those rubber band cable tidies are not original.

Riding home last night, stopped at the lights on Jamaica road. Van behind me sitting pretty close to my back wheel so I want a speedy getaway from the lights. Lights go green, I stick my foot on the pedal, cleat snaps and I slam my stink-bridge so hard on the saddle it bends the saddle rails. Van behind drives round me. I stagger across to the pavement and have to have five minutes. Emotional.

Ironically I had a new set of cleats in my bag that I'd bought earlier in the day but not fitted as I couldn't be bothered. Bothered now, it hurts when I wee...

burning piss/10

Trackstanding FTW.

https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/145849/

There's a special thread for that.

Juicy stuff starts on page 3.

Yeah - as I sat next to the traffic lights wondering if I'd need a cock amputation that thread did come back to haunt me. Thing is, I normally use SPD's to commute but I've just bought some new wheels for my race bike and wanted to give them a spin out so Look's it was. Bastards..

flange - much irony

noun
a projecting flat rim, collar, or rib on an object, serving for strengthening or attachment or (on a wheel) for maintaining position on a rail.

A little bit of rain and the roads were so devoid of cyclists I thought it was a Sunday.

CSB alert (also blood/genitals description alert)

A mate of mine was at a wedding at some country house somewhere. In the evening, they were drinking on a roof terrace or balcony or something that was next to the window for the bathroom. He needed a piss and instead of walking the long way round through the doors, he decided to just climb through the window. The window was one of those older ones with a pivoting arm with holes in it that you put over a cleat in the bottom edge of the window frame to prop it open various distances.

Matey boy threw one leg over and into the bathroom, promptly slipped and fell barse first onto said cleat.

At first, he probably just felt like you did. "That hurt, ah well, need a piss". Until he got into the bathroom and thought he had wet himself.

Turns out that although the cleat had not broken the skin, it had ruptured his perineal artery and urethra, leaving only one natural egress point for the blood.

He took out his now bleeding/peeing member and panicked, first standing at the sink, then sitting on the toilet, before calling for help and subsequently and ambulance.

He was fine in the end. The endoscopy was fairly unpleasant by all accounts but he didn't lose too much blood and has had no nerve damage to speak of.

I was very dubious about this story for ages until I met another mate of his and was shown photos of the bathroom after he had gone off to hospital. It looked like a murder scene.

Jesus I'm having lunch........

Jesus I'm having lunch.......

Don't order the blood sausage.

I did warn you

And i thought getting shot point blank in the dick with a paint ball gun hurt....

I've found the photo of the bathroom if anyone is really interested

Warning, blood

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1930410_66623450028_111_n.jpg?oh=131c776c97dd8cf7ab000d429c59deae&oe=5A5F9CAE

Seen worse...

I once sneezed whilst throwing up a lot of red wine, in a small toilet in halls.

All six surfaces were covered in bright red vomit.

My neighbour, who shared the toilet, said that it looked as if a piglet had been slaughtered in there.

Still proud.

wasn't aware the human body was capable of a sneeze while throwing up.

impressive work.

Splatter on the side of the sink, nice touch.

Made for foot clenching reading.

Spotted on the Q1: the moonpig pig, filming an advert in Trinity square

I done another of my silly videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajc5cp5pLR4&feature=youtu.be

Quite good. More interesting than Francis Cade/vlogs. Big fan of editing style.

It seems like you don't understand the concept of '2 stage turns' .. I'll let @GwGs explain it to you /sarcasm

Keep em coming.

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What camera are you using. My go pro isn't capturing anything after dark!