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@Constable_Savage
I was in Homebase the other day pushing my trolley around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart.
I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other.
What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.
What does your wife look like?" I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
Shamelessly googled Homebase jokes for this one.