The london trick beef? a.k.a 5th Floor Fixie Crew Implosion

Middle aged prick goes to fat camp and comes back thinking he's Chris Froome. A story being repeated up and down the country to greater or lesser degrees. UCI sportive entrants probably being the most extreme cases...

I keep asking when did cycling holidays become "training camps"?

Weapons training innit. You don't get to be total weapon without two weeks of commitment, and only then you can be exceptionally proud.

Hasn't this beef stew been bubbling for at least 6 years. yawn. just ride and shaaadup and be nice.

This fella is a weapons grade weapon.

https://chriswelhamcycling.wordpress.com/2015/07/02/my-story/

Hilarious:

Normally this accreditation takes between 10 months and a year to complete – I had acquired this in six weeks! Bikes geared for the velodrome are near impossible for mere mortals – the gearing is so high that you need immense leg power and perfectly efficient technique, your legs need to work dead straight up and down like pistons to avoid unbalancing the bike.

Beats everything in 'Shit fixie-skidders say' hands down, but then he is rather competitive so can be expected to win there, too.

And has he really not understood that he hasn't been competing in the TdF?

Is he on about Le Etape?

The man is a hero.

I was on course for superstardom and in the July I competed in the Tour De France again. This time the race was over 92 miles and I started in 11,000th place out of 13,500 competitors. The further back you start the faster you are in an attempt to ensure the field finishes at the same time.

The day started out fine with bright sunshine however at the 50 mile mark a torrential rainstorm hit. I climbing to the highest point of the stage – a 1 ½ hour climb and was soon suffering in -8C conditions – on the descent I began shaking uncontrollably and soon joined hundreds of others in a makeshift field hospital set up in a village town hall.

Whilst many others were airlifted to hospital, I set off once again despite being diagnosed with hypothermia. All I got for finishing was a tiny penis.

For fucks sake.

In 2012 I entered a seven mile race against international riders around Richmond park – I blew the field away winning overall first place despite being twice the age of some of my competitors and clocked speeds of over 40mph.

British Cycling were there and took notice, signing me up and providing me with a coach to help me train for the most gruelling stage of the Tour De France through the Alps in July 2013. The race was a huge success for myself as I climbed 82 miles through the mountains, overtaking 3,500 riders in the process. By September I had won an International standard London to Paris race by Day 2 of a 3 day race.

He just sounds mentally ill.

Yeah, he's concerningly deluded.

FML.

Deluded chat that will only impress people with absolutely no clue.

"I rode the Tour de France... 92 miles"

Fuck off you deranged pellet.

paul nuttal-esque

We should invite him to the forum, it might be a nice little challenge for him to race hippy for the posting record.

Putin should just nuke us all. Humans are finished.

The seven mile international competition in Richmond Park is fucking hilarious. What was that, some charity ride for disabled children with first prize of a very large Dairy Milk?

This is priceless. Haven't laughed so hard in ages.

We need an appreciation thread.

http://www.sthelenahospice.org.uk/whats-new/news/christopher-welham-professional-cyclist-to-attend/

Seems to have been touting himself at charity rides. But all of this was two years ago, not so much from him recently. Maybe someone stopped him. He is still Registered with BC has 23 points.

bet he charges an appearance fee

World track cyclist, rides a Dolan.

It's made my week.

Think I need to make more of my 9th place finish in the European SSCX championships, it could be my gateway to a pro contract.