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Now running synctoy, all very straight-forward.
only slight problem is that it wants to overwrite over 4,000 of the files on the NAS. It doesn't recognise that they are the same. tried various ways to avoid this step, but other than manually unchecking over 4,000 actions, couldn't find a way.
I'm now just letting it run which I guess will take a while, but hopefully only have to do this step once and then it will just add new stuff.
Assuming they're on the same local network I thin Synctoy should do what you want.
https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/download/details.aspx?id=15155