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Ok, i see.
I think possibly there are a few things then; if she was stood a little straighter/higher (camera also accordingly), closed mouth, and some subtle fill-in light from low-left (a reflector) for the eyes.
Obviously an assitant with a reflector would pretty much always be nice to have hey!
It'd be interesting to see it with slow flash too i guess... so the background drops off more.
And half a step closer.
@h2o
Thanks!
@miro_o
I wasn't sure myself either! I thought that the fairly bland/stale carriage background along with the standard office attire coat contrasted nicely with the intense look in her eyes and slightly suggestive open collar of the shirt. I guess if I was 'saying' anything with the picture it was that you can find intensity in the most boring of places.