General Lucifer's Verbal Warning

Any preference on the tassel colour?

Turquoise.

I reckon it'll be enlightening for a lot of people.

Even stripping would be better than the shit I do at work. At least it's show business and you get applause.

Trouble with that is it's a bit of an unknown. Also, it leaves Luci at the end of the night with fist full of coppers/silvers. OTOH, if you're charging on the door then you can charge up front and that means Luci isn't bankrolling the whole effort and hoping to cover costs.

Of course if this looks like it might mint it out of London's famous deep pockets then perhaps Luci could donate any surplus to a worthy cause. I recommend the NCP Parking Attendants Benevolent Society & Trust and their Blue Ribbon programme.

Didn't FAD use "show business" in terms as loose as you just have?

Indeed, but he was more character roles rather than 'cabaret'.
And as for deserving causes, Christ, I'm skint! If I can make a buck I'll grab it with both hands! I get humiliated on a daily basis for peanuts, so surely a few quid for my excruciating confessions isn't too much to ask?
I admit unemployed car park attendants have it hard though - those built up shoes don't come cheap...

And I though PABST Blue Ribbon would be close to your heart.

They sell that at Cycle PS..

surely in today's age we should crowdfund the return train ticket for Luci to visit londonsfamouslondon with his epic words and suspenders to hold the banknotes

Dear Lord...

^^Kickstarter campaign for tour funds?

I think I prefer to get a couple of quid on the night, otherwise I feel like a right spraffing twat!

If the cap fits...

Charge at least a £5 in that London! I'd have happily paid that in Sheffield.

In London they can't afford it - they need their Euros for quinoa and kale smoothies and eyewatering rent.

As well as digestive tract-affecting coffee...

I think you should only serve bitter and Turkish coffee at your shows to add to the ambiance...
I think a fiver is perfectly acceptable in London Town, especially if you do Le Reej where everyone appears to be minted...

We can't be forgetting such baffling beverages. You are an odd bunch, you southerners.

Serve mugs of tea and puddings full of gravy and roast meats followed by parkin and a pint of Landlord

We must be - two of us ventured up to see your sorry arse last week...

I'm still bemused!

We were honoured to have experienced an early public outing.

Next gig booked - 30th June in London! More info to follow...

*braces himself

I'm just going to talk, not bum you rotten! Although you are a dashing chap....