Jokes / Joke du jour!

If someone is a vegan and also does crossfit, what do they talk about first?

Somewhere, a stray dog just gave up. :o)

One from my 6 year old this morning;

How does an octopus make a whale laugh?
With tentacles.

So my girlfriend bet me £100 that I couldn't build a bike out of spaghetti.... You should of seen the look on her face when I rode pasta!

Lols

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Page saved!? Schtolen etc

My girlfriend left me because of my pasta fetish.

So I'm feeling cannelloni right now...

Then I got fired from my job as a pasta chef, all because I made a fusilli mistakes.

I just poured some root beer into a square cup.

Now I've got beer.

Excellent!

Le Rep!

A threesome?
No thanks.
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I'd take my parents out for dinner.

I Confess thread

I call my wife 'her indoors'... because she looks like Jim Morrison

she hasn't got sick of this yet?

https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/129528/?offset=4025#comment12162634

I met someone who was trying to sell crash damaged french team issue track frames at a cycle jumble. I told him the prices were too high, and if anything he should be giving them away. Well, he gave me a rather wounded Look.

hohoho

Contador was shown his time after the recent TT and it was slower than he expected. When asked to comment he said the slow time recorded must be down to a missed steak.

You know what's odd?
Numbers not divisible by two.

You know what I can't get over?
High walls.

Lol

You know what I don't get?

Pregnant

Barn Owls must have been stoked when barns were invented.

Choughed no doubt..........

In college, they called me “the futon” because I was so good at making sex awkward and uncomfortable.

Guy Branum