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Good try but unless you maybe tie dye it in the most clashing colours you can find it'll remain unoffensive.
The thing I don't get is why the need for "traditional Neapolitan colours" in this most "Italian sartorial excellence" when Coppi was from Piedmont and Bartali from Florence. No Naples in the equation, so poor justification for such a rancid colourway, innit?
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I'm slightly overweight, ride a Cervelo, and got bought one of these as a present. I might also sweat from time to time when riding a bike. Is that close enough ?