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handtightenonly
I have a manager who doesn't really use buzzwords but rather uses his unbelievably shit versions of them.
For instance,
-A keyring is a race involving a derny and 8 riders that happens in the "velo".
-When giving the "velo" it's full name it somehow becomes the "veladrome".
-Anything happening before about 9am is "express".
-Customers doing things they shouldn't is "sinister".
-We have to "be cute" about things that I think should maybe be done on the QT (though that's almost as bad).
-Everything, no really, everything has a value, always added up incorrectly ie 3 staff members at £20k a year = £75k.
-Putting a few chairs away is "clearing the decks" or "creating a blank canvas".
My new years resolution is to insert something from this thread into each and every email I send him, hopefully it'll rejuvenate his cache of buzzwords.