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I thought I was doing OK! And then I got tired and then I crashed (again) and then I got even more weak. I have lost form. BUT anyway it was great fun, super hairy in the dark, I loved it. @Incredibly_Cross are absolute stars for putting in all the hard work purely for the love of seeing people ride bikes in the mud. Thanks.
I've decided I came 4th, since no one can possibly prove otherwise.