This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Breastfeeding is the new bonnet shitting

Anyone heard the guy that goes "woo!" when something (like a car passing too close) is a bit dickish?

From College Road descent all the way to Elephant.

I'm fundamentally missing something [...] It is a segregated cycle lane

Segregation is promoted as being about the cyclist (and the not yet cyclist), but seems to be implemented for the driver, and getting bikes out of their way.

This morning I left the house in a foul mood after a particularly attritional skirmish in the continuing Battle Of Leaving The House On Time With Two Small Children. This may or may not have contributed to my obnoxiousness when a policeman leaned out of his car window and asked if I had gone through a red at the junction of Walworth Road and Heygate Street.

I (not so) politely informed him that I had dismounted and used the pedestrian crossing, which I assume I am entitled to do. Making that right turn (into Heygate) whilst remaining on my bike is not an experience I enjoy and I need to find a better route like the one suggested a few pages back...

Rest of commute was dry and fine.

I (not so) politely informed him that I had dismounted and used the pedestrian crossing, which I assume I am entitled to do.

Depends. If at any point you pushed your bike across a stop line (when the light was red) then it's an unresolved question as to whether you committed an offence.

The offence is to "Propel a vehicle" (vehicle includes bicycles) over a stop line whilst the light is red. The debated bit is whether "propel" includes pushing a bicycle whilst dismounted. A prominent cycling QC believes it would apply, plenty of other people disagree. He also believes that carrying it does not constitute "propelling" it. The only way this will ever be resolved is if someone gets an FPN for it and challenges it in court. Up until then it's all conjecture.

If you picked your bike up and carried it onto the pavement (or footway for the proper legal term), and pushed it past the stop line on the pavement whilst the light was red and then crossed at the crossing then it's even trickier, and no-one really knows.

Before anyone quotes the "Crank vs Brooks" case, that's something different and to do with whether you are classed as a "foot passenger" whilst pushing a bicycle across a crossing from one side to the other (you are thanks to this case) and therefore cars are required to accord precedence to you as a foot passenger. The red-light/propel question above concerns what happens before you got the crossing, i.e. whether pushing a bicycle across a stop line (at a red light) is considered "propelling a vehicle", and the outcome of Crank vs Brooks has no bearing on this.

No-one said it was interesting...

Tl;dr
You should have stopped at the lights.

You cunt.

How did the chainset and saddle fall out in the first place?

plod standing with their collective thumbs up their arses at the lights up and down south london last night and again this morning. Asked one bored looking hobbyplod why they weren't standing twenty feet behind the bike box, y'know where i'd just passed two people cocking about with their phones whilst driving, only to be told rather cryptically 'Do you know why we're here? We're here for your safety'.

fuck off. go home, you're not helping.

i don't doubt you're right, however, relying on sophistry and semantics does not the good enforcement of a law make.

You cunt.

I think my five-year-old had similar feelings this morning...

Have just looked at the map properly and realised I have been doing it wrong anyway - Manor Pl -> Browning St -> Wadding St -> Balfour St tomorrow.

Surely if you come to a stop at the white line of the traffic light and dismount and step on to the footway with your bike a push it along the footway this wouldn't be an offence. There isn't a white line on the footway is there, and it isn't an offence to push a bike on the footway.

Instead of Walworth Road, ride along Portland Street in parallel. It's more or less the main cycle route up to town from those parts. Slow down where it crosses East Street market. There's a nice cycle link between Brandon Road and Rodney Place.

Was chatted to twice by other bike commuters.

Made appropriate noncommittal mumblings, and was then on my way.

Some people. Tcha.

I love mornings like that.
They're great aren't they?
I get the afterschool pickup, so I get the "i'm ignoring everything you said because i'm fucking knackered".

5-0 at various junctions along Kingsland Road this morning. Solely concerned with whether cyclists were over the line or not. Money well spent, 1/10.

Didn't even clock my lack of brakez. That's £50 you missed, you poor fools.

Surely if you come to a stop at the white line of the traffic light and dismount and step on to the footway with your bike a push it along the footway this wouldn't be an offence. There isn't a white line on the footway is there, and it isn't an offence to push a bike on the footway.

Almost certainly (not an offence), especially if you then push your bike across the crossing or continue pushing it along the footway, but this usually comes up with people doing the "dismount to cross the white line (or pass it on the footway), remount the other side and continue through the junction" dance.

In that case avoiding the stop line by using the footway and putting your bike back on the road just after the stop line then riding on through the junction may then be considered under the offences relating to "ride recklessly on a road or in a dangerous, careless or inconsiderate manner" (the actual riding through the junction, not the bypassing of the stop line).

The law relies upon judgements to clarify it. There hasn't been any judgement on this and so sophistry and semantics is all there is.

Yeah each part of the day has its own unique character doesn't it! I do weekday mornings so sometimes it feels like I am caught in a loop of increasingly deranged demands which inevitably descends into the monosyllabic rantings of a lunatic:

"Get dressed! Do you need your PE kit today? Why aren't you dressed? Why are your underpants behind the sofa? Stop fighting each other! Put your shoes on! Why is that in your mouth?! Have you brushed your teeth? Have you brushed your hair? I need to get your water bottle - go and wait by the front door! It's time for school! Shoes! Teeth! Hair! Bottle! Pants! Door! School!"

Someone pointed me in the direction of these this morning. Most days it's all good though, and I remember to pack my own under-garments more often than not, including today.

Back on topic, I shall try out Portland St on the way home tonight. It will take me more SE than I really need to go, but it the result is nicer than what I've been doing it ought to be worth it.

Extremely close call this morning. Car going in opposite direction turning right as I was going over junction. Lights were about to change but hadn't yet. Car obviously thought the car that was in front of me was the last vehicle and just stepped on it. Next thing I see the car is turning and accelerating towards me. I had to sprint out of the saddle and even then it missed my rear wheel by inches and at speed. I still don't think the driver ever knew I was there.

2nd time this kind of thing has happened to me in last few months. Do people not look properly? Also, commuting later in the morning after 9am there seems to be more of this kind of thing, as if people have thought rush hour is over so they no longer have to concentrate.

I've had this a few times but with added cars honking at me as they assumed I'd jumped a red light because there were no cars behind me.

Sitting on the back right of the car in front and waving frantically works for me. In fairness to cars turning, it's difficult to see a cyclist behind a car - might as well make it easy for them.

In that case avoiding the stop line by using the footway and putting your bike back on the road just after the stop line then riding on through the junction may then be considered under the offences relating to "ride recklessly on a road or in a dangerous, careless or inconsiderate manner" (the actual riding through the junction, not the bypassing of the stop line).

This is more or less what I did. It is a horrendous right turn with bus and HGV traffic in both directions and no filter lane. You get treated to on-coming traffic coming right at you having swerved out to pass the left-turning traffic going into Heygate St from the north, and you get passed very close by on the inside by traffic continuing on to Elephant from the south.

It felt safer and more sensible all round just to use the red light as an opportunity to get off and use the crossings.

Even more sensible will be using a route that avoids having to make this particular right turn...

Who is the dude that rides from balham area up CS7? Saw you wearing a LFGSS jersey today, tried to say hi but couldn't catch up and caught a red light. Your bike is naiceeee, have spotted it a few times now.

Otherwise, good weather and relatively chill 8/10

Spent most of the last hour reading those comics.

Been reading the nosleep subreddit and it may have fucked with my mind a little. I got off the train as usual and popped over to the co-op for some beer. I was paying cash so I just leaned the bike to outside. Coming back outside I spotted a chap lurking down a side street lighting a cigarette standing next to one of those ubiquitous pig iron MTBs from ze 80s that are somehow still going. I briefly wondered if he may have thought about making a grab for my bike but quickly forgot about it. I set off, negotiating a busy roundabout and headed for a disused railway line now a shared path away from the road.

I was brisk but not giving all guns, on my racing bike. After some distance I go under a lbrightly lit underpass and as I'm exiting it hear this trill noise behind me, I turn and there a chap on one of those pig iron MTBs outta the 80s behind. The noise was from something like the things kids put on their bikes, plastic flaps that rub against the spokes. Weird thing was I hadn't heard a thing until that underpass.

I suspect its the chap from outside the shop so proceed to ride a little faster, going down a twistier pathway but pushing it more. Again I hear nothing behind me so assume he's dropped away. I'm imagining as I cycle along being chased by a running man that I can't shake, and when I look back I see his red eyes and wide, leering grin full of teeth (as I said, being reading too many scary stories recently). But when I get the end of the path and am about to join the road I stop and suddenly he is right there again. Again didn't hear anything and I was feeling a little spooked.

So once on the road I'm not mucking about. I'm definitely being paranoid but frankly I just wanted to drop the sod. I give it full gas and don't stop until I hit a red light about a mile later. I look behind but can't see him, but remain nervous that he's about to reappear, like the lorry in Duel. He doesn't and I make it home without being eaten by a demon.

It was very close though.

Also could have been 3 different cyclists of course.

Anyway, lively commute.