I hate

^ get a lock holster.

or a belt

Or put the lock on the bars, or around the head-tube and between the top-tube and down tube.

Don't like the idea of a lock on my belt, really wouldn't want to land on something like that if falling off the bike, sounds like a quicker path to a broken hip/pelvis.

surely this

Needs more bike gimp...

When taxi users open their doors right onto the cycle path, without looking. Those utter arseholes!

This.

Have tried putting around bike somewhere but tends to rattle and bounce around endlessly.

People who use the mouse to change the input box when logging in.

fucking ok cupid...

Stomach-turning snake.

I had a colleague who would type his password with a character missing then used the mouse to put the cursor into the missing spot and type it.

It prevents keyloggers attacks.

#csb

When people say "Fam"

u wot fam

Jumped up hobby bobby nodder plod cunts

hbnp "Excuse me sir you are not allowed to ride here. Bikes are not allowed"

dj "What? You are on your bike aren't you?

hbnp "Its a footpath and you are not allowed to use it on your bike"

dj "No, its a parade outside some shops and cars are allowed to drive on here, there are two parked here, and here"

hbnp "But its a footpath and you are not allowed to ride here"

dj "There is the pavement, then there is a line of bollards and then the parade in front of the shops, so if it is a footpath, then its a footpath away from a road, in which case I am allowed to use it."

hbnp "But I am advising you not to ride here"

dj "Ok, but I am advising you to know the law before you start having a go at me"

I was on the phone hands free to my partner during this exchange, nod-plod looked furious when I carried on the phone call and referred to him as a hobby bobby.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plebgate

such a win

Irrational hate, aren't they all, but: Bikes that are at least one size too small by hip/think they're hip brands...

Seat post nearly a meter up, then a very long stem and a tiny drop on the bar. Seriously? What is this, inverse 50s bike fitting? A hipster reaction to Keirin fitting?

I hate it when people come to you at work nearly crying because they forgot to do something and now its your problem!
You rush round like a bellend getting the other 50+jobs done and manage to get their jobs done within the retarded time frame they gave you.
1,2,3,4 days pass and nope still not collected this super urgent job.

Umbrella cunts. Forcing me to take evasive action in order to not get pointy things in my face. Special contempt for five-foot-nothing umbrella cunt walking around central London under a golf umbrella wider than she was tall.

That was me...

Do you mean Hobby Bobby = Special Constable (unpaid but with police powers)?
Or CHIMP = Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) who are pointless?

Or CHIMP = Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) who are grasses in fancy hats.

mands
surely this

#FlavaFlavsHybrid.

My project manager at work is a special. I wonder how on earth he finds the time. Nice guy. He's shaped like an inverted triangle.

@dancing james

Where was this? I'd love to see an image of where you were allowed to ride but incorrectly called out.

x