Crap 'Buzzwords'

Would you prefer if it ground my piss?

Or grits my shit?

I've just heard,

"Blue Sofa Hobnob, 10 minutes!"

Sadly, no biscuits involved

Euph?

turned out to be a chat, whilst sitting on blue sofas. Fucking disappointing if you ask me.

"comfort break"

As if the thought of someone going for a piss could ruin an entire meeting or event.

"a coffee"

"hello"

http://thegentlemansarmchair.com/comic/corporate-robot/

Just got this in an email.

"I can’t seem to be able to get a hold of {XXXX} this morning after the {CLIENT} Town Hall."

In case there is any confusion, this is a multinational company, not local government.

yeah Town Hall is quite common

never see a fucking crier at one though eh?

Calling your YouTube output: "short form online video content"

Output

lol

"Blue Sofa Hobnob"

Is that like blue waffle?

Our senior managers like to see a 'balanced scorecard' of our monthly achievements.

I'm mainly baffled because there is no way for it to balance. It's just a scorecard.

Even this is misleading as it is not made of card.

Saying that, we're not playing sport either and no one has scored.

Narks me off...

What's town hall , then?

Astonishingly so

In our gaff it's where they assemble everyone to say "look how good we are doing" and "we're not doing that well here" and at the end before question time they say "Please do not ask about payrises"

Oh. Never heard it.

Marginally OT, but quasi-hip pubs can FRO with putting 14.5 instead of £14.50 on their menus. Especially when it's 14.5 for an average little burger.

'Net new'? Fuck off.

You mean 'new'.

So far today, 'Wetware' and 'Latency'

some idiot pm said to me today: "look. its not like we are boiling the ocean"

Aligned

^^actually I think 'let's not try to boil the ocean' is a good metaphor for piloting something before attempting to roll it out at scale, or breaking down one large task into manageable steps.