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I think you're being totally reasonable, unfortunately your neighbour has raised it in the wrong way so now you're on the back foot and will come across as an ass if you don't agree.
Frustrating, and not the right way for it to be handled but not your fault.
I had something similar when an upstairs neighbour had builders remove their bay window by knocking it with hammers til it all fell into our garden. Needless to say they didn't mention this would be happening. They didn't have my permission for access so they had something of a mission to clean up the mess. I guess in your case at least they've told you in advance even if its not an ideal situation. If managed right it could improve relations with the neighbours but that does need them to make the effort too. Good luck.
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Cupcakes
I am. The liability thing was called out as being a none issue. I regard it as a small issue I'd want to discuss