This morning's commute and other commuting stories

@monkdagola lol busted.

First field test of the new commute, was a bit of a disaster, but did find myself cycling a rather delightful cyclepath along the River Froome in a secret little valley. One very narrow bridge where I had to dismount and allow two cyclists to cross and the plehtora of wandering dogwalkers with wandering dogs apart, it was pleasant. Then back on the road at Cabbots and just enjoyed having a very wide bus lane to myself.

lol 'bus'ted.

What you did there; I see it.

@Brave Word to your Mother.

get back to work

Puncture on the way home last night, patched it on the road like a boss, using the light from the Yougov offices on Featherstone St. Took me ages to refit the front wheel because I couldn't work out how to adjust the SA Dynohub properly. Eventually figured it out.

About to leave for work this morning and it's flat again. Feel like much less of a boss.

Bus + tube + late = 1/10.

Blue and white Carrera, orange jacket, blue hydro-type little backpack. Jumping reds and scattering peds all along Euston Rd. You ride like a cock. Stop riding like a cock.

Attempting to trackstand (non-fixed), having stopped at a pedestrian crossing, then creeping forward in time to completely obstruct crossing peds now seems to be a 'thing'.

trackshoaling

This applies to fixed riders as well.

It does indeed. Saw a right clanger at London Bridge last week. Virtually ended up in crossing traffic. ("Can't unclip, won't unclip")

My favourite is trackstanding on the road bike like boss obvs while fixie skidderers role basically into the oncoming traffic then finally have to dab just as I roll past with the light change. Glorious feelings of superiority ;)

Cleats cost plenty dollar

I prefer pulling up at lights and putting my foot down while I have a good rummage around my nostrils looking for bogey snacks.

Track standing is so passé.

I mostly sit nonchalantly on my top tube like the total fucking pro that I am.

This

The other night I saw a guy riding round in little circles in the no-mans-land in front of the stop line. It was like a wheel of fortune waiting to see which direction he would be facing when the lights changed.

You even look pro. I usually look like Steve Abrahams at, let's say, the 8 month mark :)

@hippy @Brave

I do that too. But I add the blowing snot into my gloved hand and then wiping it on my arse.

I tend to shuffle around a little because I cant stand my own whiff as it clingers at the reds. If it's too busy to shuffle I hold my breath or mouth breathe and promise myself that I will put on a sports-wash cycle as soon as I get home. If I wasn't so tight I'd buy a second set of kit.

I save my snot rockets for anyone silly enough to try and undertake me, and cars.

#sopro

With that said I once caught a silly moped rider full in the face with a massive gob of spit as she undertook me on the Old Kent Road.

Completely unintentional as I never expected anyone to undertake. Poor love almost fell off.. She actually pulled over and stared clawing it of her face in a panic..

Epikarma

Alright Miggs.