• Someone pulled a knife on me on after nearly running me over by turning off of St Georges Circus from the right hand lane while I was in prime on the left. Had to bail out a turn early to avoid being road kill.

    I dropped a standard issue UFUCKENWOTM8 through his window, then jumped off on the central reservation so I could turn back on track.

    He stopped in the middle of the rush hour traffic and rolled his window down to enquire who I was UFWMing at "WHODFUKRUSWEARIN@UFKNCNT.R.U.SIKBRUVVV!!?"

    I returned with RUFUKENBLINDTHO!!!!?

    This went back and forth for about 20 seconds, he then opened the door and put one foot out while his passenger was performing the hold him back manoeuvre -HOLDMEBAKBRUUUUUVVVVVVVOMYDYYYZZZZ-

    I unclipped my helmet? I don't know why, maybe just to signify that the sick beef was on?

    All the time we we're still rawly cussing each other "YOU'REMUMBRUV" / "NO-YOUR-MUMBRUV"

    Then POW from the glove box he pulled a long enough knife and held it through the open window and shook it at me "RUMADCUZ!? It definitely wasn't from the picnic set, unless he was a fishmonger.

    I unclipped my Chrome Bravo (TM) sofixeh and grabbed my Abus 360 Mini Gold Rated d-lock and shook it around in his face "FUKENDLOKYUSSS".

    We then spent the next 10 seconds asking each other "WOT" confirming that we were both moists and weren't going to do anything.

    As traffic behind was only going nuclear melt down at this point the pressure was all on him, so he gave up, slammed the door and drove past shouting something. Only for him to just be in earshot enough to get a last "DIKHEDDDD!"in.

    I got back on my bike and went home.

    7.6/10 would argue again.

    The end.

    By Antidotes, age 8.

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