Quotes from The Simpsons

Stupid sexy Flanders

"Ballet. The 't' is silent"

Gym? What's a gym?

...

Ohhh! A gym!

DENTAL PLAN! Lisa need braces.

You're so learn-ed, Papa Homer.
Learned, Pepsi. It's pronounced learned.

Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian Consulate in Siam by aero mail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?”

No, Lisa, the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

No, Lisa, the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

That is a fantastic episode:

"I'm Idaho!"

"Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!"

'Gamblor' is the last time I fell off my seat laughing without chemical assistance. Brilliant episode.

Kent Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.
Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Naval Recruiter: Just fill out this form, and you're on your way to the reserve.
Homer Simpson: There's a question that's crossed out.
Naval Recruiter: Well... due to a recent presidential order, we're not allowed to ask that particular question.
Homer Simpson: I think I can make it out.
[reads]
Homer Simpson: "Are you a homosex..."
Naval Recruiter: [interrupts] For God's sake, don't answer that, I could go to jail!
Homer Simpson: But I'm not a homose...
Naval Recruiter: [covers his ears and sings loudly] La, la, la, la, la, la, la, I am not lis-ten-ing! La, la, la, la, la...
[exits]
Homer Simpson: Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay?

DENTAL PLAN! Lisa need braces.

Golden age of video — By Ricardo Autobahn [Remastered] - YouTube

sub captain: what do we want
Homer: peas
sc: yes how do we get it
H: with a knife
sc: I like the cut of his jib, lets make him captain

Milhouse: They're working! My shoes are soaking, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!

sub captain: what do we want
Homer: peas
sc: yes how do we get it
H: with a knife
sc: I like the cut of his jib, lets make him captain

You're like the son I never had

And you're like the father I never visit

Passes left, back to center, holds it, holds it, HOLDS IT!!!

SEYMOURE, YOU'RE FIRED!

I'm sorry, did you just call me a liar!?

No, I said you're fired.

Oh....that's much worse.

He's gone and he's never coming back! WAIT, THERE HE IS! Oh no..that's a horse.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Why I laugh?

r u drunk ?

You sound like you're going to buy a pony. Promise me you won't. - YouTube

The grin at the end

Lisa: Granpa, how'd you take of your underwear without taking off your pants?!

Granpa: I... dont... know...

Hey baby my shirt's chafing, mind if I take it off?
I don't believe it, now my pants are chafing

Hans Moleman: Excuse me I'd like to request $17 for a push broom rebristling

Mr Burns: Why it's that delightful little TV leprechaun! I'm going to give you a lucky charm!

Hans: Oh no, my brains.

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, sir.

Krusty: I don't want it!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me.