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@bothwell
I am reliably informed that Actual Tradespeople use this thread, so I am cross-posting this request from the Jobz forum:
To be clear, I am looking for a real live breathing (professional) human being to come to my house and fix this for me, for monetary recompense. I am neither looking for advice on how to fix it myself, nor discussions about the best way to fix it.
Last call for either a forum tradesperson or a forum recommendation before I turn the job over to some van-driving bellend instead.