Any question answered...

Chamois cream

Fuck

That'll cause more chafing.

It also makes you question every single fart

^^^^ Change saddle? Thinner nose with gel-flow hole could be good.

Though I know very little about bike fits so don't blame me if anything else starts chaffing.

take some sandpaper to the affected area weekly for a few months. allow to heal then cycle with an gooch of steel.

That only works for astigmatism, I wouldn't do that on sensitive parts.
#steelyeyedstare

take some sandpaper to the affected area weekly for a few months. allow to heal then cycle with an gooch of steel.

I thought we were keeping our Saturday night activities between the two of us.

Chubrub and IBF*

Basically all the shorts I own the seam will rub and make my side gooch sore

Bulls = After 10miles balls ache, side gooch rub
Risers = After 2 miles side gooch rub

Not allowed to ride naked after last time, what do?

*internetbikefit

Comfy pants

Who's the uk distributor for DA FC-7600 cranks?

madison? JD Whisker?

Is FC-7600 even produced any more?

Any quick route to yellowing my new white bar tape so it better matches the 30 year old saddle and brake hoods?

Drink berocca and pee on them.

^^^^ Change saddle? Thinner nose with gel-flow hole could be good.

Example?

madison? JD Whisker?

Neither have them listed on the site, might have to phone.

Is FC-7600 even produced any more?

I would assume so becaue kinoko and loads of shops outside the UK have them in stock, the hubs are definitely still made.

Example?

Just get ISM.

And for longer rides, do use chamois creme.

Any decent budget rims out there, for street use?
Best would be if they had an anodized brake surface, so if brakeless wont suit me I can mount brakes ;)
I had a look at Mavic Open Sports they are dirt cheap but have a rather shiny brake surface...

I have some 9 speed Tiagra 4400 shifters on one of my bikes with some truly awful Tektro brakes. Can someone please recommend me some decent brakes that will work properly? Thanks in advance!

Have you tried better pads? Nice pads cost more than cheap Tektro brakes, which is why the only thing wrong with cheap Tektros is that they come with horrible pads. You could pay £45 for Shimano BR-5700s, but spending £18 on just the shoes and pads would have much the same effect, and you'll then be using cartridge pads so you have a world of options open to you to tune the feel of your brakes.

Any decent budget rims out there, for street use?

http://www.hewittcycles.co.uk/components-145/rims-243/touring-rim-246/3857-rigida-grizzly-se-700c-rims

Can we set up a bot - or something for microcosm - that responds to questions like that ^ with the standard tester™ answer?

I want to drill my alpina forks for a brake, but I don't really know where to place the hole and how to make sure that I'll hit the bolt right in the middle

If you search the forum for posts containing drill and Alpina you'll find plenty of advice, which falls generally into one of two categories.

1. Don't bother, just buy a road fork, drilling the Alpina is far more of a PITA than it's worth
   
2. The reinforcing bolt occupying the brake hole in the Alpina track fork will fall out if you just look at it a bit sternly.
   
   

Mine fell into the former category, but it seem to be entirely random whether you get one where the bloke at the factory was utterly determined to make that bolt survive a nuclear blast, or his tube of glue had run out and he couldn't be arsed to go and get another one from the cupboard that day.

So who are the cheap spoke suppliers at the mo. Looking at plain gauge for a coaster rear, same for a front as there will be no front brake. Also looking at a few separate spokes to repair a few wheels.