Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

The brand-new Omniums disagree.

My omniums look (fairly) new after a year of beater duties - they get cleaned every time it rains it seems, but I would agree those wheels look new as well.

Morning all!

http://www.buildafixie.co.uk/product-category/buildafixie-designs/

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1931822269/vanhawks-valour-first-ever-connected-carbon-fibre

brakes would make huger gain in safety than a pot hole detector or a vibrating handlebar

That might be the worst bike kick starter I've seen. So many things wrong with with. Would they at least put the saddle at the right hight? Where did they even get a frame with that fucked up geo from? did they have to get the mould done specially? The cranks, wheels stem, saddle and pedals? My brain hurt.

Don't worry though; "its built for performance and design"

Also what's the fucking point of any of the technology? Just get a Garmin or strava yeh cunt. How did this reach its goal, people are so dumb? dat fork to headtube junction.

"Unlike traditional carbon fibre monocoque frames, Valour is constructed with an internal wall structure.Valour is constructed with carbon fibre and the internal tube design is inspired by nature. Using our carbon fibre manufacturing technology, each bike is individually molded as a unibody frame. Valour’s internal wall structure is inspired by the same principles that strengthen our bones allowing it to withstand extreme three-dimensional stress. Unibody molding guarantees complete structural strength and production ease, ensuring a bike that’s as reliable as it is affordable. Valour’s strength is matched only by its weight. At a mere ~16lbs, the Valour is light enough to de-stress any tricky commute."

What the fucking fuck are they on about. "unlike traditional carbon frames, ours are pieces of shit."

milk carton hand guards...

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https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1931822269/vanhawks-valour-first-ever-connected-carbon-fibre

there is so much wrong with that.... it should never be seen again.

^^ Standard issue in my neighbourhood.

^^ Why are you quoting it then?

milk carton hand guards...

Ha! I'm pretty sure I've seen that guy a few times, he's about 70 and has sponges that hang down from his helmet to protect his ears.

The tech behind it is what's really worrying. Bars that vibrate when 'anything' is in your blind spot (Just think about that). Turn by turn navigation on the bars to keep your eyes on the road.

It should be the exact opposite. You should learn to control a bike one handed to signal and using your eyes to check your blind spots.

Another lazy, counter intuitive design.

I hope that is glow in the dark paint! That is awesome!

I hope that is glow in the dark paint! That is awful!

ftfy

http://fe867b.medialib.glogster.com/media/24/24a48d31955bd6cbd07e312ac7b0b32167264655912da9185c6c3ab896379944/j-r-williams-batman-slap-robin-jpg.jpg

Not sure if strictly "anti" as visually it works, but "flag on a mudboat" comes to mind.

What flag?

Cross between Tron and Peter Parker's ride.

What flag?

The Aerospoke flag ;)

I didn't want to push it with slaves or rats. With so many things wrong, it still is something

I quite like that Charge Plug.

But that bike^ is fucking hideous.

I can haz skrtluv?

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nice call!