Football

Mourinho will be the next United manager.

United should've appointed Mourinho last summer. He alone has the barefaced chutzpah to replace Ferguson and break out from his shadow. Sure he'd have only lasted 2 or 3 years, but United would have won trophies in that time and made enough money to service the debt.

I have a feeling this might actually happen. What with Maureens recent histrionics, Hazard being tapped up and the massive nose dive their season has taken.