Foffa Bikes

I knew a guy who lived with a cop. Cop was a 6'6'' monster of a man, a wall of muscle controlled by a barely sufficient amount of brain matter.

All the knives in the flat kept disappearing and eventually he asks Cop what the fuck is going on with the knives-where are they and what is he doing with them?

Turns out Cop's high fibre diet and active lifestyle manufactured torpedo-like shits that were of such sizable girth they had to be chopped up manually to allow them to slowly claw their way around the U bend to be finally spirited away. Once he'd stabbed them up with the kitchen utensils he thankfully realised that it probably wasn't ok to put them back into circulation, and lobbed them in the bin.

After much deliberation they decided to get an 'Ornamental' samurai sword to hang in the bathroom.

This had me laughing like fook