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Haha, I totally had a good inward look at myself when I saw that Stewart Lee bit.

I resent the fact you think I live in London and work in Soho. (I do live in London and work in Soho)

I enjoy their Giant Soups. I don't enjoy sitting with strangers.

See: Hacktivist...

It might be entirely possible therefore to retell your story as: someone was crossing the road, I passed them at speed and deliberately slapped them. Awesome. Great story. Makes you sound like a real nice guy.

Honestly, in my head it was going to be a comical disappearing of hat routine. I felt absolutely awful for slapping him, not in my nature.

Also available in Wagama? Nice.

I thought this was in Misc.

Also, Miocene! That's a blast from the past. Good call.

Ah, the endless debate on who or what is djent and who is ripping off who. I like it but it kind of blew up massively and then became immediately samey, it went full retard. All sounds like Sikth anyway.

Not sure what the deal is in the Philipines, but the guy who rented us our moped was called Hitler.

My brother recently had a baby, and the kid next door to them in the hospital was named Rafferty Merlin.

Currently in Wetherspoons (You can do take-out so you don't have to stay for the atmosphere) Yeastie boys Gunnamatta IPA, tea infused double IPA. Out of this world! http://www.yeastieboys.co.nz/beer/gunnamatta-ipa/

Also last night I splashed out on an Omnipolo Fatmorgana recommended by the guy at Pieminister near the Craft Beer Co on Leather Lane. Thankyou!

There are those that freeze. And then there are those that look you in the eye and don't change their direction or speed at all. This happened to me on Whitechapel Road a while back - Guy was crossing on an amber and had spotted me charging towards him but carried on purposefully slowly. So I thought 'fuck it, I'm going to steal his hat'. However I misjudged my speed/ hand-grab co-ordination and ended up giving him a 20mph open palmed slap on the head.

Hit my first pedestrian today, riding up through Leadenhall Road - He was defo a banker, so not too guilty. And he had a brolly so probably a posh banker. Was coming up the left of a taxi (my bad) at a green light. He did that thing where, instead of jumping out the way, he froze on the spot and just started shuffling left and right.