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He knows perfectly well what "penultimate" means, he's just trying to publicly catch me out on wrongsaying big words, so I don't get Ideas Above My Station.

Joke's on him, though! I've had Ideas Above My Station since I was a toddler!

Seconding EB's recommendation for WHH's House on the Borderland for this kind of nonsense and also throwing in Arthur Machen - try The Great God Pan. M.R James wrote a lot of great stuff about stuffed-shirt academics digging up scary artifacts and regretting it when eldritch horrors come for them.

It's not quite 'Lovecraft style', but I think you might enjoy Alan Garner's stuff. His most recent book is Treacle Walker - it's short and pacey and I think if you gave it a go, you'd see why I thought of it all the same - it takes the Welsh countryside and defamiliarises it into something frightening. Starve Acre by Andrew Michael Hurley might interest you too.

I have now finished the penultimate year of my english literature degree and fuck me I never want to pick another book up ever again. Smash the printing presses! Burn the trees! Melt all the rare earth elements that would otherwise be used in the manufacture of ebooks! Absolute shite. I usually switch to graphic novels if I can't do text reading and even that is beyond me right now.

I did manage to struggle through What Survives by M. Amelia Eikli recently, which I enoyed. It's very "debut novel", but she's got a fantastic line in grief and bereavement that I've not seen tackled all that well in most post-apoc. A lot of the genre just glosses over the emotional effects, goes straight for the roaming cannibals and whatnot, but Eikli completely avoids all that and just focuses on this one character losing everyone. It's gut-wrenching, gorgeously-written grief.

Well done for making it through Ulysses, @markyp ! What ill-advised doorstop are you tackling next?

Had to scroll way too many pages for someone to post this gag.

I'll listen to the scientists on nutrition before I listen to Pete Townshend, I think 💅

Oh, fair enough. I will take myself off to the Judging Other People's Marriages thread and judge someone else then :D

... if your wife is so determined that she wants such a niche driving instructor, why isn't she the one doing all the work to find one?

I always get that wrong too!

I'm definitely getting to the age where all my heroes are toppling one by one. Can't believe he pulled off that bait-and-switch releasing Jericho Sirens just a few years ago, and then snatching! His! Very! Existence! From us!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrR50b7-OSQ

Get them a la-z-boy lounger and a hot tub, maybe some nice tickets to a West End show

Perhaps some kind of massage device

I completely misinterpreted this and thought you were making a recommendation for something Sparky could buy for his foxes :D

I don't know if this will actually work, Sparky, but I've found the foxes don't shit in my garden anymore now that I've got a collection of toys that they play with. I didn't give them the toys, to be clear, it's just stuff they've stolen from the neighbourhood and left in my garden. For whatever reason, even though I know that they like to shit on things they're interested in, they don't seem to enjoy shitting where they play, in my garden at least.

So maybe get them a few tug rope toys or something and see if that helps :D I set the stuff out nicely for them in the evenings before I go to bed, lol.

I've attached a photo of my Fox Distractor Setup so you can see what my local foxes approve of (this years' cubs have 0 interest in the middle one, but all previous generations loved that thing, whatever tf it even is as I have no idea).

are you sure your real top tip isn't "sack off those chumps at new manchester"?

you MONSTER those people were counting on you!!!

Saving them is fucking hard. The best I've managed is to get full automation happening, save all of New Manchester right before the storm hits, and then survived until I think one day before the timer for the big storm runs out, like I could SEE the end in sight and I was so sure I was going to win, but NO, disaster cascade at the very last moment. That's what made me ragequit it for a while, I think, lol. I do need to go back and try again, I've just found a notepad where I was obviously writing down the order of operations so I could go again 😆

If I lick every insect that I see, I'm an adventurer

please, we prefer to call ourselves gourmands tyvm

Hahahah I go for the benevolent options, so it's much harder for me! I never put sawdust in the food or send the cops out to beat people up or dump bodies in the snow or anything like that, and it does add an extra level of challenge. I must be some kind of masochist. They must be masochists, exiling me because they want me to agree to child labour and increasingly draconian peacekeeping! Hope the 2nd one works ok on my macbook, the orgiinal does chug a bit, especially when the clock ticks over in the mornings.

It is SO hard but once you finally crack that first one it's so satisfying! Can't remember how many scenarios there are in total, maybe five? six? something like that. I'm on the one with the seed arks, which i think is only the second, i just cannot keep those fucking buildings alive at all. Great fun though.

Love FrostPunk. It's pretty tough! Took me ages to get past just the first scenario, that sinking feeling when everything is going wrong and there's nothing you can do to fix it is so oppressive, I love it.

Interesting! I'll investigate my own this weekend and see if rhowe can rescue mine too, thanks 🙏

I have the exact same hozelock gun with the exact same problem, previous gun didn't have the problem, I think it's just that specific Hozelock model that's shit

Oh yeah, something you could do with your filthy butt (lol) is use a bacterial treatment that'll eat all the silty rancid stuff. Envii make one that they amusingly call "Butt Klear" (lol) and I have a lot of time for that on the basis of the name alone.

what is wrong with them all

cunts gonna cunt

Make Boris Grift Again, more like

The usual advice is to just let it dry out - if it was a feral pond, then it'd dry out during the year anyway, so it's just a normal thing that small ponds do in the wild. Mine completely dried out over the drought last summer, and I thought all the plants and all the wildlife had died, but they didn't, and everything is bouncing back nicely, and if anything it's better now because my Pennyroyal is back, and I thought that had been choked out by my brooklime. Supposedly newts actually quite enjoy ponds drying out because it reduces predation.

Definitely don't use tapwater, you'll upset the balance. I know it feels bad to leave it to dry out (I was TRAUMATISED last year watching it happen), but that's the most "natural" treatment you can give it. Have a look at page 2 of this PDF on pond maintenance from Hertfordshire council

When you say it doesn't work on your ipad, is this an ipad that you're using over the wifi, and not an ipad that uses its own sim card? (in other words, do your laptop and ipad have the same network in common, whereas your iphone is using your phone provider's network instead?)

Anybody know why I can't open the following page on a MacBook Pro in either Safari or Chrome, but it works on my iPhone?

Works fine for me in both of those browsers. What exactly happens when you try to open it in safari/chrome? Do you get a blank page, an error message, your macbook explodes? What if you try in an incognito window in Chrome? What if you delete your cookies/history in your usual window and then try again?