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Or don't do it because it's your business what charities you support and how you do it.

Anyway, bad news everybody - Amico Bio Holborn has closed its pizza oven - it was too expensive to run and they weren't selling enough pizzas. I went specifically the other night as I was craving my first pizza since veganising 18mths ago, so a bummer*. Any suggestions for a decent pizza place?

*the manager gave us a free dessert in sympathy - top marks.

Run shitloads, bike shitloads, swim as little as you can get away with. There's your plan, wire me some pounds.

has anyone ever heard of any of these twats who took nekked selfies and have now been outed all over the internetz? never heard of any of them. must be chickenheads....

Yay! Dirty sluts deserved it! Moar sexism!

Fool.

'Kenyan satyr' - amazing.

Advertised on other forums so reserve the right to remove from here,

Will ebay next week if no one wants it

Inbox offers only

facepalm

So it is possible to get proper jail time for kiling cyclists - but you have to hire a lawyer who is absolutely cuckoo-bananas:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-28979459

'super cosy warm'

What is this world coming to?

farnsworthgif

Something is swimming round my head - early this year, there was some guy talking about putting on an iron event in London this December, including an outdoor swim. It sounded really stupid, so was keen to get involved. Anyone know anything more about it?

You can do any other similar distance event and tell people you're doing an ironman, the branding isn't important. And then you won't have to go to Wales or, worse, Bolton.

Last time I checked, the UK has more iron distance events than any other country, including the States, where they're all brand junkies and just want the M-dot. The nearest one is in Dartford. Spoiled for choice.

i've identified 3 prejudices that liberals think are acceptable:
the unemployed
the obese
cyclists

Hat trick!

I feel totally picked on right now.

Balls to IM branded events, did a few of them way back, not worth the money and all the boring macho hoopla. You can do iron distance for way cheaper in smaller, more friendly events e.g.

Midnight Man - £160
Big Woody - £170
Ultra Challenge Wales - £130
Ireman - £100
Enduroman DoubleIron - £320

But still, millions of people now think cyclists go out of their way to hit guide dogs and I now hate blind people. See nothing cunts.

The WTC are not a sporting body, they're a bunch of yanqui venture capitalists looking to milk al they can out of their investment. They send threatening legal letters to any other firms and bodies (including IUTA and Enduroman) for using the word 'ironman', so they have to call their races 'Double iron' or 'iron distance'. It cost IUTA a stack to change everything on their website. My mate in the US calls his 'double anvil', to keep them off his back.

He remains unblemished, though I know guys who do have both M-Dot and Enduroman tatts. Odd behaviour. Do people who do the London Marathon tattoo 'Virgin' on themselves?

The greatest risk is entering something longer and sillier. Had drinks last night with my mate who just won the Double Ironman World Championship at the weekend (and is in disgustingly good shape considering) - on the post-event comedown, we tend to drink too much and sign up to even longer races...

You do not need to worry about cold in the water - the sea is extra super warm this year, and water temperature peaks later than on land. You could do an IM swim non-wetsuit until October off south Wales.

you fat, useless, massive coronary waiting far too long to happen

fixt

Lucozade Caribbean Crush - 79p
Space Raiders - 20p

and there's a penny left of your emergency pound to spend on whatever else you like. Bang.

The ending to Thelma and Louise would have been so much more fun in a JCB.

It's a throwback to the inexplicable 3-0 defeat to York at OT in 95 with a team including Beckham, Neville G, Pallister, Parker, Irwin, Sharpe, McClair, Giggs. This seems much more shambolic, though, and this bunch aren't going to end the season with a Double.

This is just a little bit perfect. A range that fully recreates Desert Storm for 9-year old girls with fully automatic weapons. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, right, that.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/26/arizona-girl-shoots-kills-firearms-instructor

Very briefly had some fun at the T184 this weekend, which is 184 miles from the Thames Barrier to the source of the Thames out in the Cotswolds. It's a new event, and a really good idea - c.80 started, 14 finished, one of the most challenging races I'm aware of to have been won by a woman. Fully self-supported, all runners must carry 4 days worth of kit and food, which leads to all kinds of conundrums - to pack light and hope to finish fast, or be ready for all eventualities and be prepared for the long haul. The latter urned out to be the sensible option.

Most people seemed to drop due to blisters and/or hypothermia, both of which did for me at c.70 miles - wasn't able to hobble fast enough to keep warm through the night.

Amazing YouTube comment on that vid:

Big Meggan12 hours ago

how the fuck can this vid have over 4 mill views when there are only 2 mill people on the planet? wtf

And the mistake you made there was...?

OK, for those of you who want to swim the Channel, I'm sat in Dover now waiting for the weather to change. 3 of my mates are waiting to go on this tide, 2 of whom are doing Arch to Arc, 1 of whom I am crewing for (so haven't slept for 40 hrs, pardon me if I'm not sounding positive).

I've trained with all 3 of these guys for the last few years as they've built up for this - the 4 degree swims in the January storms, the 12 hr swims in the spring, the mind-expanding trips to really bad nightclubs in Folkestone. They've all laid out at least £2500-3000 for the pilot alone (one of them bought a caravan down here as a training base). They all could make is across easily with decent weather.

Anyhow, this is a dogshit week weatherwise. We've just heard that the window we thought was open tomorrow is closing swiftly, and all 3 of the guys may miss their slot without swimming a stroke as the weather is shite for the rest of the week. And this is the guys who know their stuff, and can't be stuffed by the handful of unethical pilots (there are 12 pilots, some are fantastic, a few are despicable).

On the flipside, me and my mate (both godawful swimmers) made it across last year after getting pretty lucky with weather and tides. It was awesome. Basically, I'm too sleep-deprived to make much sense right now, but know a fair deal about Channel swimming, so feel free to PM me if you're thinking about it.