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don't forget pooping

i have a date tonight, at a pub obviously, and will have to cycle to/from it.
bloody strike

1. Milltag/Wiggle french jersey - size S £10
   
   http://milltag.cc/information#sizing
   
   

barely worn and washed once gently. was a present from a (french) ex-ladyfriend who hated cycling anyway, so i don't think i'll be wearing this.

1. Surly 17t 1/8 fixed cog & lockring - £5
   
   

used for about a year, probably plenty of life left in the thing.

1. Topeak saddle bag - £5
   
   

the one with clips and velcro

1. Condor strada 40cm drop bars + Genetic Hyoid quill stem - £10 both
   
   

stem is 100mm, 26 clamp, -15 angle

I'm based in SW19, work in SW7 but can meet within a reasonable radius or in central, etc.

cheers folks!

obviously i have no fixed gear credibility but for a while i had a weirdly sentimental attachment to my first bike, despite the fact it was fucking shit. i really liked it's shade of blue and it's actually what i started commuting on. i remember getting so fucking out of breath going up hills and people making fun of the tiny wheels. it was also a heavy bastard and the folding capability was pretty much useless. but nobody ever wanted to nick it even though every part of it was quick release. the 3-speed gears were also fun as gear 3 was tremendously tough, like trying to push your feet into an elephant's bum or something, gear 2 was okay but occasionally slipped at the worst moments and left you frantically pedalling air in busy intersections or going up southwark bridge, and gear 1 was obviously useless. that and the handlebars used to detach sometimes while steering. that being said, the brakes were amazing!
yet being the most uncool & dangerous thing to probably cycle i did some totally slow-but-comfy epic 3am cross-london rides and was finally liberated from the night bus rides of ultimate despair and sorrow.
i sold it and it now rusts in someone else's garden.

cycling to a date is pretty much a chastity belt

it's aluminium frame wrapped in crocodile skin

even if it reeks of wimpness, a loud yet woody allen-ish "HEY HEY HEYYYYY!" directed towards asl creep/lane drift/non-indicating shit keeps your moral high-ground intact.

Just incase anyone needs a reminder:

jesus christ i had to try really hard to suppress laughing in my office

report to roadsafe

so basically they're just overpriced for what they are and people who don't know a lot about bikes buy them because they don't know any better/don't like the idea of a 2nd hand bike that is probably made of actual steel

and foffing off is the official term for wanking over bikes

maybe i'm mega stupid but a red line through the bike in the sign would probs make it clearer.

when going westward it's generally okay to use the death curve of a road instead of the direct bus only lane if that traffic isn't too heavy

their shaving cream smells like roast chicken

cause i don't understand how gears work

Yes!

are PCSOs becoming the equivalent of supercorrupt NYPD officers?

damn, if it was 54cm i'd be all over that

don't read the comments about the london cycling grid on TFL's facebook page...

i have the flu so i've been on the tube, which is interesting sometimes as since i've become a bicycle owner i very rarely go underground and forget what people are like down there

today sat opposite a woman who was cradling a fat chihuahua with an erect penis
both were totally nonchalant about the whole thing

sometimes the smug prick part of myself (it's a large part probs) gets agitated when i see dozens of people with rear lights on the left non-drive side of the bike down by the rear wheel hub or something.
but then i once put chutney on spinach so i have no moral high ground pointing out stupid decisions.
but better than no light at all, i guess!

lots in tooting bec-broadway. one telling off a car in the ASL, from what i heard just describing the details of the fine but letting the driver off with a warning.
nice of them to warn cars and fire FPNs at bikes, even if they don't know what the fuck the traffic rules are (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/dec/02/case-against-london-cyclist-dropped-crossed-red-light-safety)

i refuse to take addison lee because as someone who transports themselves by bicycle, addison lee cabs fuck me off. but i'll take a small cab company nearby wherever i am using the iphone robot voice thing
is that logic ok?

saw a chap with a bike being walked over wandsworth bridge by a stocky dude with moustache dressed all in black. no obvious police markings on him but he did have an earpiece.
could be my paranoia but seemed odd. also heard something akin to a police whistle earlier but again, there is a construction site near the big roundabout, but they don't use whistles anymore, do they?

if there are cops around that way they are well hidden.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25080427

influx them with useless copper stories
and that picture of boris cycling on the inside of a HGV turning left