Search results for:

What would be a suitable secret Santa gift for a respected colleague who has just been made redundant? Budget 5-10. They have a sense of humour.

Black cab pulled in on me today. Asked if his cab was broken and then gave extravagant milking mime. Was informed I took it very calmly by Mario Cipollini at the next set of lights. Mayfair!

A very polite low speed dooring this morning. Cyclist fine and more concerned for the welfare of the teenager who'd hopped out in the queue to get to school. Driver fine with the scratches to their door. Teenager embarrassed and grumpy.

You could also try 'Talk me through it...'. Having to justify rank stupidity and embarrassing behaviour may lead to regret. It may not. As long as you have an exit planned, all good.

End of Watch passed the will the Missus stay awake past the first ten minutes test. Veeery entertaining and only just over the 90 minute mark I think. Exquisite prank scene.

We seem to be running along eerily similar reading lines. I was recommended Red Team by Garth Ennis which didn't disappoint.

Colossal is a lot of fun. A really great idea. Would be a good one to not know anything about before seeing.

Just pulling away from the lights on Larkhall rise I was surprised by a bike hurtling downhill past me through the small gap to my left. As he had a big red triangle flashing on his head it was easy to catch and question. When quizzed, his reasoning was that it was an ok thing to do as I was stationary.

I have thought up numerous puns on the subject of stationary and this man but all I really hope is that because I spoke to him, at some point today he will be sitting quietly and think, oh yeah, that was a dick move.

I'm also sorry I was abusive to his answer but he was being a bit of a cunt and I am a bit tired.

Hi Adam. Is this still for sale? Cheers.

Clipped a wing mirror which I took as a sign to calm it all down. From then on it was you first; you've got yourself in a bad spot there, come back out in front of me. Surprise and gratefulness from all (most) (some). Would be Jesus every day except the one when they want me to die for your sins. Undertakers though, pfft.

Excuse my coming in here - didn't enjoy that right turn either. Then tried carrying on up Foxley Rd straight over Camberwell New Road - there's a hidden-ish bike lane - left round the side of the Brandon Estate come out next to Kennington tube and you've skipped Oval death trap as well. Assuming you want to skip it.

Rode behind, at glorious easy pace, a man playing tunes from device unknown, like it was coming from nowhere and everywhere, for the length of Garrett Lane and more. Highlight: I Feel Love at Tooting Broadway. Yes, yes I did actually. Didn't shouldercheck once but I'm not overtaking, so fuck that. Gave him a little wingman-esque barrier to compensate.

Seeing two too many people lying in the road this week. Run over, as we used to say. Horrible.

Hello. Sat behind a right indicating van at the lights, I don't like to filter. We move off and he rolls up to centre of road, I'm going straight so I ease left. Not too quick as I have mouth stitches and don't want to burst. He changes his mind, signals left and pulls onto me, watching me in his mirror. Easy to get around at that non-bursting pace. We hold one another's eyes in the shallowing wing mirror. We part, yet before we are too far, before it is too late, I give a small wave. Peep-o, champ. He tells me to fuck off and that I am a dickhead. I fuck off, though not in the intended spirit. Suspect hemorrhoid so none of this shit on bonnet business mentioned here passim. Onwards. Good luck all.

Consoled a shy chap who came at me and wobbled on the slippery mess around Wandsworth roundabout and ended up losing his front wheel for, he said, the second time that morning. Keeping left really makes it easier even on a cycle path. Glad you were OK.

Avoid a white Alfa Giulietta around Balham. Missed the reg as was looking at fierce red face and estate agent coiffure instead. He was being a bit of a bully and used swear words. Couldn't work out why unless he had smelled my fart.

I saw a nice couple walking their dogs. One asked the other if they had a bag as the dog had shit on the path. Yes, she said. He walked towards her and they chatted a bit as I'll rolled further away. Then, as a certain time had passed and they were a few feet from the shit, they just smiled, held hands and left it there. A taxi then pulled out in front of me going up Regent St so I shouted at him instead. I consider myself the twat in this.

Said a nice good morning to a cabbie who drove straight at me while looking the other way on Victoria Street. He didn't say good morning back - rude. And brutally undertook by a very determined heavy pedaller man as I pulled away from some lights. Almost critiqued the move, when his little boy in the child seat behind him came into view. Could only manage a brief and cheerful 'hello mate' and a wave.
Just can't seem to get huffy these days.

If I end up on that Embankment it's from Chelsea Bridge and I get as far as Lupus St before I get all moody. Lupus St not a bad way to get into the West End most days mind.

?

Aha. I'm happy to assume that.

Front brake only geared roadie is the best I've seen. Or did I miss something? Didn't hang around him, just in case.

Bottom of the Balham Hill dip, older fellow sweeps in from Yukon Road without a glance to see what's coming. Very Belgian move. Hi. Apology accepted.

Hello from Tooting. The forum is excellent.

Similar one happened to me. Car just kept backing up and backing up. When I asked what they were doing I got a response from behind me "they're being a fcking idiot, that's what." Passer by chipping in. It's better when you know you're not on your own. Don't start anything but do think about stopping.