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a carrot sharpener

Not certain if a euphemism for Pele's condition

Eng may as well hang about long enough to let Bethell get his first Test century, then be satisfied with the series victory.

England's target down below 600 with 8 wickets in hand.
For a team that scored 800+ there's still a shadow of a ghost of hope.

Ouch!

What's the annual VED?
ULEZ compliant?

Now a hundred of us.

Stay strong!

Just like the old days for Joe Root,
walking in to bat at 33/2.
Doesn't like batting at No.3,
but is routinely an opener.

Crawley is already enjoying himself.

If the tap wasn't tightened by an over enthusiastic strongman, you might get lucky with a pair of pliers inserted into the void, then opened against the inside surface.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TKVv50DhqM

And then there were 3, ... , or none.

at least it will stop me eating too many.

Yeah?

It's the feelgood story of the year!
Mince pie afficianado doggedly searches out his personal goal ...
'to save Xmas'.
[Do your people know Richard Curtis' people?]
Roll credits to this tune:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk8mm1Qmt-Y

Is the joint just two flat surfaces or is there a dowel involved?

I've also noticed 'Urban Rallies'.
Lads in AMG mercs & M series bmws, driving with full acceleration, on the wrong side of urban roads , trying to outpace urban afternoon drivers.
Maybe A40, Polish War Memorial to an M25 junction (17?), in the shortest possible time?

Which wood or 'wood product'?

Statins?

I could bring you some Wenzels* mincers.

(* Outer west London's equivalent to Greggs).

'You were working on the same desk, for DMG-eee,
when I met you ....'

she was a bit stuck up

Well, not everyone is from Acton.

i used to work with her

Now you have revealed this, we need more detail.

I can't tell the difference with his Kentish accent.

Keep your eyes peeled for the private jet arriving into Northolt, bringing Asma al-Assad home to Acton.

It's been worth the cost of buying off the Gregg's Tunbridge delivery driver to 'lose' all the mince pies on his round.

You might need to order a bigger turkey.