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Dig this and dig it deep

What if I had the power to gather all of my favorite emcees

With the illest comic book characters and they became arch enemies?

Inconcievable? Unbelievable? Yet as wild as it seems

The Emperor and Stan Lee would coach the two opposing teams

Keep it clean no bats no gats guns no interfearance

Comic book characters would go head up with raw lyrics

Now I take, whoever might be on break from doin tours

And have them signed up for the Last Emperor's Secret Wars

Sure, for that kind of capacity, you need a crazy large arena

that might stretch from west Philadelphia to east Medina

If I'm able, I'd put it on pay-per-view through my label

And give free tickets to my neighborhood bums with no cable

Yeah, that sounds phat, now that we've squared away the propositions

Let's begin with the ultimate toughman competion

"Let the games begin!" Set it off, it's the fight of the century

KRS and Professor X would battle each other mentally

With rhymes, these two team captains waste no time

Charles Xavier tried to invade Kris Parker's mind

He shot a cerebral probe at Kris's mind, but he missed it

Professor X taken out by the Blastmaster's metaphysics

Round two, new fight, word to life, you gotta see this

Locked in mortal combat is Dr. Strange and The Genius

Here son, he's no match, let that grafted wizard have it

'My Liquid Sword slashes straight through Dr. Strange's Magic'

Another hero down, and now the score is two to zero

Gy words from the Genius, and he's still my rhymin hero

Now the next fight was conducted in a rough like manner

Specifically between Reggie Noble and Dr. David Banner

Or should I say the Incredible Hulk when he's amped off the gamma?

But Reggie Noble soon became the Incredilbe Redman and slammed him

You know how Redman gets when his adrenaline starts pumpin

Started schitzin in the ring, so then the Thing tired jump in

Ben Grimm leaps into the ring, and after Redman he lunges

'But Reggie Noble dropped him with two Brick City punches!'

Rhymes by the bunches, bums get dirtier than Middle Eastern dugeouns

Ready to set this like Detective Columbo and his hunches

While the ref's clean out the ring, cause the last fight was so intense

Let's do a live interview with the brother named Common Sense

'Yeah, yeah it's Common Sense, and Iceman tried to freeze me,

So I took him to Chicago and told him to take it easy

He couldn't see me with my applejack hat and hightops

Colussus and Cyclops, I got No I.D. and Y Not'

Good lookin Common Sense, that last album was tight

Let me get back to the ring and evaluate the next fight

Now the next fight had to be the craziest of all times

We got Dr. Octapus 'versus the mighty Busta Rhymes!'

Doc Oct versus Busta? Man that stuff is dead

He'll get his eight arms ripped off, goin up agaisnt the dreads

'Ha, ha! Now Dr. Octapus, who you think you grabbin?

The god can never lose, so you know it will never happen

Lyrically making you sleepy, you'll need a nap when

I slap you with my dreads, lights out, you'll kiss the canvas'

Before my eyes, I see the demise of another superhero

Next up is Ras Kass versus Magneto

Now anything goes when Magneto battles foes

Ras Kass had him shivering, delivering ultramagnetic blows

Magneto was now deceased, and a wise man said it best

"The sun rises in the east, but they can still set it the west"

Now with all these heroes down, Stan Lee refuses to surrender

He got Storm from the X-Men, as if I couldn't match the gender

Stan Lee shouts 'Excelsior!' Yo, Stan you best to chill

'There's no match for Storm,' I guess he's never heard of Lauryn Hill

Now we all kow Storm controls the temperature and weather

Started runnin' off at the lip, and L-Boog was like 'Whatever'

See she just got home fom tours, she's a bit to tired to spar

So she clocked Storm over the head with my man Wyclef's guitar

All silence is ceased, out of nowhere comes the Beast

Versus Jeru the Damaja, the Black Prophet from the east

Releasing rhymes that will pound you into the ground, there'll be no

round two

Another victory for hip-hop from the Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

Now the underground sewer system that lies deep below the ring

Is where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Das EFX do their thing

Leonardo and Donatello, they both know we can do this

'So kiggedty crazy Drayze hit them both with raw sewage'

Now Rafeal and Michaelangelo, those two others who are brothers

Brooks smacked 'em with the Das EFX logo, the manhole cover

Whether you're plant or animal, vegitable or miggety-mineral

Before you step to Das EFX you best be hard like a criminal

Taking you back to ringside, just when you thought it was over

The last battle was brought forth by G.I.Joe and Cobra

Mercenaries and soldiers, G.I. Joe was rollin' thick

But I'll get the military of hip-hop, a.k.a. The Boot Camp Click

World War Three for '98 in the wake of all these troops

I could see general Buckshot goin toe to toe with Duke

Salute the captain, for rappin, cause now we know who's hard,

Catchin wreck like Steele and Tek going up against the Crimson Gaurd

Charging after you, smashin' you metaphorically smashin' through

The entire Joe team is O.G.C. and Ruck the Irrational

Then all of a sudden I hear this real loud crack!

'The military punisher Big Rock just broke Roadblock's back!'

Adding insult to injury to Stan Lee and his team

We've got Weapon X from Canada, a.k.a. Wolverine

You know the routine, his claws can rip rappers for days

But here comes the Method Man, a.k.a. Johnny Blaze!

Wolverine you can't hang, when Tical does his thang

Paralize you with the venom from the Method Man's fang!

This is the final battle as the stratosphere gets darker

We got Nasir Jones versus Peter Parker

Nasty Nas at halftime, headringer versus the webslinger

Illmatic versus radioactive in the rotten apple where the dead linger

He cursed the day that spider ever bit him

And gave him a copy of the second LP, It Was Written

For all up and coming emcees, I've got a question,

If I made a Secret Wars Part Two, would your name even be mentioned?

Would you make the final cut?

I make even the nicest give their titles up

Writing rhymes slash fighting crimes like the Blue Falcoln and Dynomutt

Stick around for the next battle slash adventure,

And if you see Stan Lee, tell him that the Last Emperor sent ya *echoes

On a d100 roll (a roll with two dice that have the numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0 on them), a roll of two 0s is often used as the number 100, for instance.

Chaotic-Neutral is so hip right now.

Can someone finally shed some light on this? Actual real world legal frickin' evidence?

Are ASLs just guildelines like those dotted cycle lanes or are they considered legally bindnig stop lines? There have been a million and one mentions about this on here and still no one has provided anything that indicates wtf ASLs are.

It's a solid white line, so it's not advisory for the intended road users

They might as well just give up. No-one clean has a chance of winning the Tour; I believe that Contador has even made some smarmy comments about Armstrong's alleged drug use too. It's all so handbags at dawn, it's not even funny.

They might as well just let everyone take as much/many drugs as they like. If you live, you win.

(Just realised this reads like it might be a pro-Lance post. It's not.)

I've seen lots of cyclists on the Bluepaintclays Superdeathtraps getting booked for jumping reds. I've yet to see any drivers getting booked for the same, or for deciding to use the advanced stop area.

At least something getting done about the Black Hole of De Beauvoir:

http://www.hackneyhive.co.uk/index/2010/09/two-arrested-in-connection-with-bike-attacks-in-de-beauvoir/

Come, on, Wigan at least try to be sympathetic. If your bike is damaged, mate, you can always Barrow mine.

You don't always have to get to the front of the queue.

You do when there's some cunt trying to drive up your arsehole.

A fixie skidder in the deepest of Wimbledon? the apocalypse is here.

I saw this bike around the West End today.

This young man seems to have an awful lot of fixies, is he a shop?:

http://www.gumtree.com/london/06/66141406.html

I go past there some days, I could check it out.

That was somewhat your own fault. Being inside of a vehicle on a crossing?

Yeah, admittedly I'm not entirely blameless in the situation, though his road positioning didn't leave me anywhere else to go.

Almost got knocked down by a Boris Bike milk float with trailer whilst cycling up Great Eastern St this evening. The van was stationary at lights, but positioned so I couldn't filter up the middle. Then as the lights changed (with me directly to the left of the cab) the van pulled off and swerved left, forcing me towards the kerb and had I not nimbly evaded, would have taken me out with the trailer. As it was it clipped my shoulder and calf. Cyclist behind thought I was going to get taken out completely.

We made the mistake of planting a marrow-sort-of-thing (the carribean old-timers call it 'Quash') nearish to our tomatoes - just as the tomatoes started to ripen, this Cthulu-esque mass of thrashing tendrils erupted from the ground and strangled the toms on a matter of days. Timed perfectly to coincide with our holiday. We've now got no toms, but metre-long marrows the thickness of my thigh, piling up in the bath becasue we've nowhere else to put them.

Earlier in the year we had good potatoes, quite good runner beans, though they struggled at first, and broad beans went very well. we've also got some Waldmeister (woodruff, I think) so I can steep it in vodka and have dreams about being a werewolf again...

And Kohlrabi is amazing, and grows brilliantly just about anywhere.

Never lock your bike on street over night stupid young
Teenager like to steal or just ruin them hate it man.

That's the best sentence I've ever read.

I dont get it.

Try saying it in your best WWII Panzer Kommandant voice.

Really? Sounds pretty awesome to me.

(It's a play on Danish, not German. Fucking chauvinist Germans)

German for graveyard is Friedhof. Peace yard.

I've given it a lot of thought

Police can't do anything since there's no cctv and they're wearing balaclavas

The local Safer Neighbourhoods team should be all over this like flies on shit. No excuses.

Lovely video, I got a really good feel for the event. Saw quite a few people that I recognised too! The paratrooper bike story was interesting.

I did have the pleasure last night of having to swerve around two women with a little kid who had been standing in the road (ha!) by a bus stop who waited until I was about 2 feet away from them before sauntering out to cross. As I gawped at them incredulously while swerving I saw one of them point a finger dreamily at me as though I'd just appeared out of thin air and was composed entirely of fucking ectoplasm. So not only acting like a pair like a cunts but putting a toddler at risk of serious injury at the same time? Nice!

I know what you mean here. Yesterday an idiot pleb woman marched her spawn straight ontl the cycle path with her back to me, I was going moderately fast,a nd immediately locked up both brakes, skidding to a stop about two inches from her backside. Even with her back to me she startled (no doubt to me involuntarily shouting "FUCK!") but then proceeded to pointedly ignore me while she continued her perilous journey. all 25 metres from a zebra crossing. and she'd been dodging between cars which is why I didn't see her.

I've seen fucking mallards with better road sense. I can't imagine what road crossing skills that kid's going to develop. Where's Alvin Stardust when you need him?

I make a point of not RLJ-ing and I always stop for zebra crossing users - like many others, the number of people who say thanks is surprising. That said, I try to acknowledge when other road users are driving considerately of me too, even when technically they're required to.

It's the ones who actually wait at the edge of zebra crossings and then only cross when you stop that bug me.

If I see them, I'll slow down - aiming to hit the crossing well behind them/after they've crossed, yet still they stand there gaping until I'm 2 feet from them, despite a friendly nod to cross.

Why do they do this? Because other cunting cyclists won't stop.

Not just cyclists, either. in London it's 50-50 whether anyone will stop. I certainly never cross in front of a Volvo in Stamford Hill; the Hasidic types seem to think that the appropriate response to a ped on the zebra crossing ahead of them is to accelerate loudly and screech to a halt at the last possible moment only if you haven't leapt out of the way.

Hitler, on a bus in Manchester.

I think that might be Frank SiNazi. He's a pretty funny lounge singer.

A fashion beard and a *riding *beard at the same time? The mind boggles......
Swiss army beard.

Rig Brother - in the wake of the Deepwater Horizon disaster, BP raise safety standards by using reality TV contestants to man their remaining drilling platforms. Episode one - the contestants notice a leak and use the remains of Jade Goody as a 'junk shot' in an attempt to 'top kill' the well.

Crisp sandwiches are good, but you wouldn't serve them to guests.

They are not 'win'.

I like to fill my mouth with ham sometimes.

This also isn't 'win'.

General Lucifer likes his mouth to be stuffed with pork? Sounds like a win to me!

FWIW, I think the UK has generally very well designed road signage, barring the odd aberration created by local council numpties. The not-crossing-out thing makes sense once you know the rationale - which should take about 30 seconds of reading the highway code - but it does catch a lot of people out.

[doctornick] Inflammable means flammable? What a crazy language! [/doctornick]

Is that because a sign with a line through it means 'end of (thing on sign)'? or because putting a line through a picture makes it harder to work out what it actually is?