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I might come in a bit and pop my sth london beers cherry..... I've got some rum punch preped for carnival (that was aborted) that I may have a tipple of now.

Sounds good, I'll look into getting there via train! (and bike!)

mmmmm, getting there is the hard bit (that I forgot about - OBVIOUSLY).... perhaps we can nick you a bike from near by, do some laps and return it?

Are girls scared of me though? I'd like a girl rider as well!

mate, I'm not amazing - it just comes with experience. Am cycling more now than the rest of my life. A few of my mates and I head to regents park 1x/wk/fortnight to do laps... its not exciting, and there is bugger all traffic, but if you fancy it - wendnesday this week?

Think I'm going to venture on over at about half 1.... 3 years in london and yet to bother with the hassle; so today is the day my friends! Now to prep the rum punch. Can I turn up to sth drinks tonight reasonably lubed with no bike?

I feel I could trust a PM who partakes in mo-vember....

You're not supposed to work hard in the City. You just buy and sell shares, drink expensive wine and let the rest of the country (the Polish) do the work.

Good - cause I don't. Don't get to buy or sell shares either, or wear a suit... wine I've got covered. The Polish? Not present or accounted for at my work place which means someone else must be doing it.

Aussies? Yeah. They're pretty much all complete wankers. I wish they'd all fuck off home.

There'd be no hard workers left in London - the city would die.

Guys - this thread has me miffed. We're hated?

It's when someone tries to say something really nice to you but accidentally insults you :]

Takes something pretty off to offend me.

Back to this dating malarky - multi grooves.... what do you look for in a partner? - I have some friends I'm willing to pimp out.

Whats a compliment slip? I've obviously never received one.

Sounds time consuming and I'm terribly bad with office stationary.... laminate the bed? You mean put a plastic wee sheet on it. No. Ta. How bout I just continue chillaxin on the sofa? No risk of spills and wet sheets.

I worked in Camberwell for a couple of years. It is a shit hole. Haven't used Edwardes before, but I can recommend Blafes Bikes in East Dulwich...... Owner Richard is a lovely guy who got my bike in and remembered my name - ahhhhhh, feel the love.

Finish your cocoa first though, it's a dreadful stain to try and explain away.

Not if your sheets are brown already.... and well I don't have to explain myself to anyone - so safe all round. Time for a brew.

sexist

No.
F.A.C.T
Its got nothing to do with vag or willy.

[quote=maxcrowe;889911]

I'd be surprised in the chick on the end could lift those hefty pink boots of the ground. Those shoes are massive. Her legs aren't.

sounds romantic.. now to find my torch and select my mag. I should take advice more often.

Their looks or the mad bike skillz?

Jealous of the complete package. And the celebratory hug at the end.

Oh and if any southies fancy a London Lido tour before the summer is truly spent, come and talk to me on Monday. Four or five outdoor pools in one day. 45 miles.

I'd be keen to give this a go.... make the most of this beautuiful thing that is the british summer. Dates?

errrr, I'm just jealous. Sorry.

Gender fail.

You want to talk gender fail:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b36Yi-Pb1wM&eurl=http://brainfood.howies.co.uk/page/2/&feature=player_embedded#t=331

and so many of you will still get off on it. Sad.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tramp%20juice

Juice for tramps *

mmmmm, I have a thing for scruffy guys.......

I'm off to the pub to try my hand (yet again) there - wish me luck...

dicki - you are an entrepreneur. Should we get you onto dragons den now? What a nich market.

Left in a kebab shop... that is fucking awesome!

It gets better: The whole date involved sitting in a pub watching England have their arses whipped in some football international (which I didn't mind, I'm a simple (not stupid) person and football is fine).... THEN I wouldn't put out, hence I got left in the kebab shop and I had to catch the bus home with enough falaffel to feed all of Brixton.
He emailed the next day saying 'sorry I acted like a toss pot last night can I buy you dinner?'
That is obviously what you call an english gentleman?

I went on a few gumtree dates a couple of years ago.... no luck as such but I'll summarise some of 'em and you can make your own judgements as to whether its worth your time.
1) I got left in a kebab shop; 2) asked if I'd go home with said date 'not for sex but so he could smell me' (he meant my neck, but it was still weird AND it was his first week off hard drugs); 3) I got a contact if I ever needed/wanted a firearm or a passport; 4) I got my hand set on fire cause the twit knocked a lit shot of sambucca onto my hand; 5) I got a really good mate out of it whom now subsequently dates one of my mates.... So I reckon it was worth it - not for me, but for them... they're blissfully happy now.
Oh I also reckon I got enough material to write a pretty funny book....