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Paddy and Murphy are in a pub when in the corner they notice the landlords dog licking his genitals.Paddy says Jesus Murphy i wish i could do that Murphy replies if you give him a dog biscuit Paddy he will probably let you.

stevie wonder was given a cheese grater last christmas he said it was the best book he ever read

thanks for that much appreciated

Hi i have a bike trailer which i use for transporting my children to school however i use a 9 speed derailleur mountain bike to tow the trailer the quick release skewer i use to attach the trailer to the bike appears to be marginally too short .
Does anyone know where i could purchase a longer skewer i have tried my LBS and Evans in Reading and they are unaware that any exsist .

Hi, First time I've ever posted anything so here goes.....
Despite believing in the concept of freedom of speech, no matter how obnoxious or ludicrous the views are, I still think that there were quite legitimate grounds for denying Nick Griffins the right to appear on Question Time, given that it has been ruled that his "party" are unlawful, due to their lack of inclusion! It would have been far more effective to have attacked his policies (If he has any!) on education, health etc than to have harped on about what a racist biggot he is, as that is a well known fact anyway. Surely the likes of Jack Straw et al could have really lynched him(Oops - an unfortunate turn of phrase, perhaps?!)? What made it even more poignent for us, was that we had just watched "die Welle" so that I could prepare a comprehension sheet for 11Y (Yep, you guessed it - i am a German teacher). Off task, I know but superb film for anyone who doesn't mind subtitles or thinks that 1930s Germany couldn't ever become a reality again! Regards Ind's Better Halfx

Micky mouse is involved in divorce proceedings with mini mouce the judge presiding over the case says "mr mouse i don't think the fact your wife has buck teeth is reasonable grounds for divorce." Micky mouse replies i did not say she had buck teeth i said she was fucking Goofy

Doctor doctor my feaces keeps coming out like chips

try lifting your string vest before using the toilet

Doctor doctor everytime i make love to my wife her toes twitch.

Have you tried removing her tights before you start

1. braker
   
2. Bobby Dids
   
3. mc_nebula
   
4. Oliver Schick
   
5. joe smith
   
6. marcom
   
7. Library Music
   
8. mmccarthy
   
9. Mania
   
10. BigFatAl
    
11. Spudger
    
12. moog
    
13. 50/14
    
14. Malibu
    
15. Booga
    
16. Babar
    

ind

your right you couldn't be more right and so am i

i'm an Alan of all trades

your nets full of holes

alan partridge . right how much pubic hair have you got
child genius . none because i'm nine
alan partridge. well i'm 37 and i've got plenty.

take that horse to the stable and give it a kiss

my next guest is a lady hypnotist shes as american as moms apple tart but shes not a tart

ice white socks with double chevron action flash

My wifes birthday is approaching and she is a fan of all things Swedish/Scandanavian could anyone recommend a good Swedish restaraunt in London

May his next poo be a cactus and the boils on his bum burst and blind him.

Or worse.

I think Velib is a BAD idea. And somehow when it all goes wrong Boris will blame Ken for starting the scheme.

It is my understanding that it is Boris's brother who is in charge of the scheme and i would imagine it is he who will profit most from it
nepotism a game for all the family

I'm left handed . I have also seen the statistics for decreased life expectancy i have also seen that there is a greater propensity for mental illness in left handed people

+1

East of Eden is a book I never tire of. I always wished I'd known someone like Samuel Hamilton in real life.

tishmael

Wrong.

why

fiesta is good too. oh wait, is that an alternative title to the sun also rises? checks. yes it is.

i like hemmingway. he liked short sentences. he killed himself. maybe he thought his life was too long. like a bad sentence.

apologies to stephen fry.

for whom the bell tolls has to be my Hemmingway favourite but on the whole i think i prefer John Steinbeck when it comes to early to mid 2oth century american writers.

*
“The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.”
*Saki 1870-1916

and conrad made toast

Just finished reading " Love in the time of Cholera" .." El amor en los tiempos del cólera"

anyone read this? or see the movie? .. I thought it was beautifully written...its a rather intoxicating story of a man who loved against all the odds.. ..."he loved her for over 50 yrs"... the story portrays his often sinister life of carnal affairs in a desperate attempt to heal his broken heart from her rejection... all the while continuing to fighting for her love... both morbid and powerful

I read this and really enjoyed it but i think i preferred One hundred years of solitude.
i saw the film of love in the time of Cholera and and found it a bit dissapointing