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i believe the thing you're looking for is called 'nitromors'. but you will have no paint left, and possibly no hands, and if especially lucky, no face.

i love these; i just blur my eyes, then slowly refocus, it's so easy, having said that, i prefer the dinosaur ones from the past to the one above.

seriously fiddy, i've only got five bikes left. dark times.

i need a replacement.

ten dora and suky. i win yes?

anyone who hasn't worn lycra at some point in their life is not a cyclist.

i had my bob jackson stolen - i'd quite like a new vigorelli if anyone has one lying around they can give me. i'm almost bikeless.

well, go buy a bob jackson frame for £400 instead then.

bike is sweet. looks like ye olde holdsworth ends.

lovely head tube decals.

massive. on a par with maggie's warmongering, community-splitting ego.

you horrible, filthy, leprous, fly-by-night, bmxing, fixed-wheel bandwagon-jumping harlots.

I hope teach doesn't finish all his limericks quite so sloppily.

you always finish sloppily, you big, dawes-riding, leaking dictionary you.

now i've set Sir off... sorry everyone

made me laugh, you know how there's always one kid in the class who the teacher hates, and when it kicks off, everybody suffers.

that's you by the way. and i'm the teacher.

i got a few questions, chaps. what length saddle rails do you have? what's the thickness of your rimtape? what's the diameter of your seatpost bolt? what's the thickness of your bartape at the ends and in the middle? how many millimetres between each indentation on your brake blocks? what's the difference in decibels pitch between the toptube ting near the headtube and the one in the middle of the toptube?

Sir did a limerick too!

something funny, mr nimhbus? something amusing you?

well perhaps you'd like to share it with the rest of us. or failing that, go to the back of the class and wear the 'D' hat.

and if you're wondering, it's 'D' for 'Dickwad'.

there once was a thread on chain tension,
and i tried hard not to give it a mention,
but the men gibbered on,
as all sanity was gone,
and autism was the deduction.

i think we need bike sonnets and villanelles. step it up a level.

you'll regret this in 15 years when you trying to restore it to its former glory.

can i just chip in, i've got a DA 14t cog as well. hope you find one!

sort of on topic:
after havign my bob jackson stolen, which pissed me off mightily, but also took it on the chin, i then built up what i considered to be a beater, an old raleigh 531 conversion. however, i now really love this bike and would be really sad if someone stole it, possibly even more so, because i kind of feel sorry for it, like i saved it and made it something greater than it was before. it looks lovely and people always comment, but it's my pub/beater/anti-theft bike.

i think i'm doing something wrong.

welcome to the stanley gibbons of fixed wheel threads.

they only have three sizes, small, medium and large.

he clearly states; "size medium".

not really, it's soooo fucking hilly. it's too tiring. i found an opt-out, cycle 2 miles to train station, sit on train for 25 minutes, cycle 6 miles to school. much better. that's what i do in the mornings. in the afternoons i try to cycle back, but the FUCKING WEATHER is doing my nut. it rains in torrents, straight from the sky. on the ride to the station earlier i got caught in the worst rain ever. even noah would have shit his toga. and the worst thing is that the rain washed all the vile cowshit and slurry into the cuntry roads. i have newly fitted mudguards, without them i'd turn up to work looking like that man who fell in the radioactive slime in robocop. i fricken love my mudguards. a full set - way to go for winter, no messing, dry feet, amazing. race blades suck. for the first time in my life i have a proper winter bike, the real deal. i feel like a real man.

ha, rakan, you clever chap, i remember that thread but was too damn lazy to search for it. if i had done, i would have found the OP i thought was there. chapeau.

and then have to get up, cycle 16 miles in the pissing rain, to the middle of nowhere, to commence work, still covered in the detritus of the night.

ah, good times.