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My skills include:

• spelling and grammar
  
• caustic wit
  
• helping young people
  
• garnering rep points by the fistful
  
• being kind to dimwits
  
• eating chips
  
  

Things I really want to learn how to do:

• use the ignore function for retarded 'ooh i'm bored what can i write' threads
  

depends if you want to arrive at your destination looking you got ebola halfway and your internal organs exploded out your anus and smeared themselves up your back.

visit? that's where you live. none of this is real.

is she with you now?

this bike is well pricey. £187 on the bay.

it's also rather confused, sort of half mega-relaxed old frame and half something altogether more ambitious.

fsa cranks? eh?

freeserve, i hear they are good.

i did, and it looked like hippy's antipodean love piss.

that's not true, is it, alex?

some conversions ride better than any langster. even the dogshit coloured sit-up-and-beg beauty that came out a few years back. you'd know that if you rode any of your bikes for more than five minutes before selling them, you feisty young ficklemeister.

and i love the contradictory advice in this thread, it's really got to the heart of the matter.

men and women? true.

i thought i saw a man the other day, but he was actually a woman.

i thought you'd be wearing it as an ironic necklace by now.

i'm going native, slowly, full mudguards, long vowel sounds, loving glances at members of own family, too much cider, etc.

The bars and stem are now on my new bike, and i still have the derailleur, rear wheel, bar-end shifters, and brake levers. and saddle.

£100?

i thought your beater cost £180 and was brand new, made by Alf Noakes or neil Webb, or someone.

the cunt who lives in the flat above me is called Geoff. he's a fucking wanker.

hope this helps.

i bet he rides fixed. prick.

i'd love that. slop bucket, yes sir. i'd drink from it in my own dirty protest. i can't wait till snowy is king, or president, or whatever.

he's full of hairy old spunk. it's like spiderman's ejaculata.

Oh, and the Fizik saddle is on the Geoff at the moment.

i don't get it. to be honest, i don't care, but that's besides the point.

why not ride your beautiful carbolite peugeot with fizik saddle instead? i don't get it. why would you even be looking for another bike?

You've never been in Australia then?

truedat.

do they even have trains in australia?

graff? hxc? IDK? what the hell?

damned colonials.

ha. what a fucking day i've had. the rain down here is making me want to move back to london's vile, bitter, hipster-filled london.

stick another snag on the barbie, you hairy old spunk.

assos is comfy on the old nethers. i seen one too many dentists head-to-toe in that shizzle out in kent on their million pound bicycles. can't ride for shit.

oh - and for the other 96% of the people on here - assos, or rapha, tends to be what you wear when you go cycling. as in, cycling, not posing on your lo-pro cakwagon.

ghandifather? role?

yankees, go home.

apart from cajeta. she's ok.