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Nonsense, Butts Lane is the home of the editor of the New Statesman and many other left-leaning people.

I hope you are not calling the magnificently laterally stiff Spinergys 'noodly'. I raced on a borrowed pair once when they first came out, luckily the brake blocks stopped the rims hitting the frame.

The Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch railway to us local roadkill-eating peasants. The Woolpack is officially in Brookland, it's a cracking little boozer serving very generous portions of home made food. A visit will guarantee a 2 kilo weight gain. You dazzling urbanites wouldn't like it.

..... as Alex Dowsett's minute man?

In the sea?

The very chap, came highly recommended, if with slightly self-destructive tendencies.

The contract I have taken out with Big Vern should ensure no further drivel from Kirby.

You can't buy new testicles and they're difficult to replace.

What, all of it?

My bodge would take me about 3 mins plus drying time for the Araldite before drilling. I have all that is necessary to hand. Your fix is indubitably more professional. I am a born bodger, you are quite the opposite! Other bodges would be to use self tappers and washers behind the plate to replicate the height of the towers, or a gentle angle grinding of the towers and my pads.... (tongue firmly in cheek).

Ah, I see. How about filling existing mounting towers with Araldite, drilling small guide holes and using self tappers?

Turds are notoriously difficult to heat treat.

.....and I still have some spare sticky pads, 3 weeks on and the rear number plate has yet to hurl itself lemming-like from the Z4.

Valverde cheated. He got caught. He was less than repentant.

He is one of the few remaining in the peloton of 'that' generation. It is hard to argue that the majority of professionals were clean in his early career. In earlier generations, doping was less systematic or scientific, yet arguably as omnipresent. From the early days of strychnine, via amphetamines and pot Belge, illegal advantage has always been sought. Many of these villains were just normal guys desperate for another contract.

Should we condemn them? Yes.

We can only hope that the nuclear arms race on doping will finally won by the testers (no, not of the MDCC variety), for the long-term health of all who take part.

I suspect this is true of most major and minor sports.

Whoever Dammit got to do his Volvo before he sold it!

In truth you would do well to catch mackerel from the shore this late in the year, July and August are usually the peak period. Don't give up though, conditions are still good, look for deep water at high tide. My hopes are high for cat, but there is a risk of a fishmonger visit. Plenty of small bass around at the moment, so keep practising with the fly gear.

In unusually successful fishing news.... Got an invite on a boat out of Eastbourne last Friday, am now stocked up with black bream, turbot, pollack and (home-smoked) mackerel.

A couple from last week.

Who would make the ideal candidate? Recently retired pro, widely respected? How about Jens Vogt?

If your were Jan Ullrich, struggling with addiction and sanity, would you rather be visited by Armstrong or the ghost of Pantani past?

Please tell me the sauce is marvellous, that might just suppress my need to find and punch the appallingly smug author.

Steak a l'Americaine? My dinner is still running in the 14.35 at Lingfield.

What I don't get is the fluorescent 'horse and rider' waistcoats, like a fucking great horse is easy to miss......

Horses are a half ton plus of limited sanity with a lethal iron shod sledgehammer at each corner. It makes excellent sense not to startle them. They can't see you behind them, so something like 'passing wide and slow' from 50 yards back is simple self preservation. You will see their heads, or at least ears, turn towards you as they become aware of your presence. It might even wake up a dozing rider. Yes, I ride horses nearly as poorly as I ride bikes.

Mince pies are for life, not just for Christmas.

I think he means just drill new guide holes and use self tappers, or why not just use sticky pads like everyone else?