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Lovely and a bargain.

Transfixed by that. Kevin Smith has lost a lot of weight since his heart attack.

@mespilus what bend down like that with my back, I get internal beeping warning me against such moves. Wow 75 ounces, that's fuck all, that's about 2 litres. So if I buy 8 cans of beer, I've got to drink 4 of them before the sensor stops beeping....I'm not sure that would end well.

And @hoefla, this is obviously the correct answer and I rightly feel a complete tool for not thinking of this at the time. I may just put a seat belt round some potatoes next time anyway to see what the car makes of that. Its like close encounters of the 3rd kind. We've got to improve this interface, the first time the aliens get behind the wheel of a Ford Focus they're going to be... 'fuck this shit, waste this planet'

@mashton in theory yes, but not if I'm the one person ;)

@Ramsaye but I won't be distracted by it falling over because I am such an awesome driver this would not happen, and if the car was really Ai it should have known this. The previous god knows how many 10s of 1000's of miles I'd driven it had been totally without incident, I just wish it would cut me some fucking slack.

Regarding kids in trolleys, Donald Trump has the answer...."you want to go in the trolley little Timmy?" Pay pound, take trolley outside store, flip it upside down, stuff Timmy into cage, hey presto, Mexican detainment unit. Continue shopping in peace and upon your return said perp will have expended a few litres of snot and tears, that was otherwise going to be spread liberally around your car interior. Return trolley, and collect £, best £ spent ever.

My moan, cars warning beeps for everything that can't be turned off. Your reversing, beep, windows open, beep, and so on, boot open, seat belts, bonnet open. I'm wondering what sort of full on deep techno track I can create by setting them all off at once, and how big an accident it would cause.

You don't need to tell me the door is open, I'm the only one here you stupid fucking thing, I opened it. Last week I quickly swung by the supermarket, battling past the Mad Max style snotty caged kids outside the entrance, I did my shop and came out with 2 bags worth. I was not going far so just puts the bags on the passenger seat and drove off. Ping, ping, ping,this Ai fucking car thinks my shopping is a human and wants me to put a seat belt round it, its doing its nut beeping at me constantly and flashing the seat belt light on the dash. oh do fuck off. I turn the stereo up and drive the 2 miles home ignoring the fuck out it, like I am somehow teaching it a lesson, knowing full well its going to pull the exact same shit next time, wanker.

I am now going to have conduct a study with bags of potatoes and other shopping to calculate the exact weight of shopping and other goods I can put on the passenger seat without the fucking alarms going off. This is not safe and labour saving, it is pissing me off. If Basil Fawlty had a modern car he'd have fucking set it on fire within 5 mins of getting in it.

A broken muesli bar in a jersey pocket?

A snapped twig in the undergrowth?

Had someone farted?

Is that traffic approaching?

What's that noise?

The group were puzzled.... it sounded like an internal gear whirring, one that hadn't been oiled properly, but there's some kind of misfire going on.

The learned souls looked around, ahhhhhh it was their leader. Overhanging tree cover was interfering with the transmissions from the mother-ship to their faithful scout, his arms paralysed by lack of signal, rendered useless for the imminent pint picking up duties and all but the lowest of lo-pros.

Before panic set in, the group ushered their venerated leader out into the remaining light, and with a grunt and a twitch, full signal flowed into him, he crackled into life 'onward comrades, our date with Liverpool of Street must be met, let us regale over ale'. And they were whole again.

Ha well you've heard of the inverse shim, I'm an inverse Patrick McGoohan, I am not a free man, I am a number..or something.

Haha, never heard the expression bangers and mash in that context before, classic. I'm going to use that from now on :)

Haha yeah only joshing, it was an obvious set up for some nobber to jump in and do a Nelson from the Simpsons, HAHA!...Grandad, sorry, I am that nobber :)

Bro do you even cycle or you Slaining that thing to work, 9km in 30 mins is more Cat 60+ than Cat 6 ;)

Funny it doesn't mention piss, which every train toilet I've been in ever, has been thoroughly sprayed with, everywhere, apart from in the fucking toilet.

Ha Ha! (thanks)

Assuming the lower down attachment on the seat stay is a pump, wtf is that on the back of the seat tube? Hopefully one of those men in black memory erasing pens.

Just seems like unnecessary endless sub division until we end up with threads like 'post your red steel framed retro track gravel racer, with custom saddle rails, full srampagnolo, riser barred negative stemmed, inverse shimmed, cleated and strapped flat pedalled disc commuter, ridden every other Wednesday between the hours of 9 and 10 pm from Broadway Market to somewhere less cool....bikes here!'....but as you were :)

Too many bike threads, most of this could be in modern group on old frame, or HHRB....all bike threads should be merged into a mega thread called 'bikes', that's all we need ;)

good grief, looks like a dog taking a shit.

Looks like it, and is that one a cm or so under the lug on the seat tube too?

Ooof, and I thought Max was the tank like bomb proof tubing.

...going to need yellow pedals now ;)

That fizik yellow is bright, I tried it once to match to a frame, not a yellow flite, and it didn't quite match, thing is unless the colour match is bang on its going to look hideous. I sacked it off and went black in the end, reckon you'll end up doing the same.

Fizik tape rocks tho, so that in black is fine.

pure neon obvs, and with those collapsible wheels of death, repairable neon hopefully :)

RIP Penfold. Given a proper viking hamster funeral.

Luvly smooth welds. Let's play guess what the last is thing is....

Cock-ring with inline bollock shelf?

Ecce Romani rubrum braccae

I lol'd at Latin O-level too, exactly how old is fat Frank? They weren't still doing Latin at school then were they? Or did he take it as a 'grown up' to try and up his game and compete with Graham le saux at the Guardian crossword.

Some might think that lots of the play we've described above could be seen perceived as being 'unsafe'. I guess we may have thought that was part of the appeal, but more likely we didn't really think of the consequences at all. Falling over and getting hurt is part of the learning curve isn't it?

Which just reminded me of being back in shires during the recent beast from the east winter storms. My old school friends now have their own kids, some of which are going to our old high school. I was mortified to discover recently, like properly outraged wanting to write a letter to the school and the EU outraged, that during the lunch breaks the children were not allowed outside to play in the snow. WHAT!!! Health and Safety stopped play. The reason given was that not all of the paths had been gritted, there were numerous playing fields and acres of space to run around, but all the kids were kept inside for fear they may slip over on a few tiny side paths. Bearing in mind there was shit loads of snow all around before they even got to school that day, if such an sterilised approach was taken by the kids and parents, none of them would even have got to school that day. I really felt sad for them, we don't get snow very often, is there not an inalienable right to play in the snow? There fucking should be.