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Wow Andy that's absolutely lovely.

eek shonky suicide levers, I'm visualising fast descents down huge mountains, brakes failing, over wall, huge ravine, pooh and wee coming out.....is that what the flannel is for?.....Dudes gonna need a bigger flannel.

:) salami mop ....want...hang on....., what the....a mop?!

Not like any mop I've ever seen.

Space age nano carbon fibre super advanced euro mop?

We need pics, maybe a dedicated thread ;)

Dibs etc.

Lovely frame.

But what's bugging me is what is that on the floor on the far right of the pic?

Looks like a salami in Castorama kit :)

Mmmmm anyone for a nice slice of Swasticake?

The dildo stem certainly looks like its given lots of pleasure....but lordy its not a looker is it? Is this some sort of anti-theft wagon? Couldn't fap to that, defo belongs here.

Can't tell if small or far away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXypyrutq_M

https://makeameme.org/meme/one-does-not-5be046

..triple failure to embed, font size fail and new page fail. You can see what talent levels you're dealing with here.

Solving an OCD crisis by creating another one? I don't think you understand ;)

Are there any -16 degree stems, quill and ahead type, to give the OCD aesthetic matching horizontal stem/top tube combo, on old Italian frames that have steeper 74 degree head tubes, rather than the 'standard' 73 degrees?

My admittedly weak googling didn't find anything. A -17 degree stem has the pointing slightly downhill look that is not OCD compatible :)

Is there are any? If so, what? Preferably in silver, Italian and not gopping like one of those snapped dick Look ergo-stems. Thanks.

So back to the spot the racist calendar bingo, who is everyone dressed as?

I can't see the pirate one properly so not including that, but from left to right.....Mr January Jim Davidson is fair of face....oh hang on, Krusty the clown, Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics, Percy from Blackadder, a horse as a zebra, Bill or Ben the flowerpot man, The man from Delmonte who actually looks like Rab C Nesbitt after being vegan for 4 years and living in Spain, Osama Bin Lad'en, Swampthing?, and some Amish dude with Spock ears, oh hang on that's Vincent Van Gogh right?

Poor Vincent, a lone BBC4 culture beacon in a sea of ITV twats. I'm guessing this photograph was when Vincent realised the rest of his club were not the kind of dudes he wants to hang with, they look like they like a good hanging this bunch.... I bet Vincent doesn't show up to this years party.

EDIT: sorry I tried to include the pic with this post but failed.

Every sperm is sacred

:) Thanks, it was them that provided such rich source material.

Not sure I've got the time, but another wet afternoon like today, who knows....

Chapter 2 – Dick Stoodley P.I. gets his coat

Its 8pm and a light goes on in the house. Party time.

Dick gets out of the Mondeo, or the Mundane-o as he calls it, the perfect undercover vehicle. He eases the car door closed as silently as he can.

Dick’s a big unit, but is as silent as a ninja. Two hundred and forty nine pounds.......................... and ninety nine pence that ninja costume cost. It was made in England and worth every damn penny. Dick wished he’d brought that along tonight.

Dick says no to foreign. There were good reasons to buy a European or Jap car. The herd did, they’re everywhere. But there ain’t a shepherd been born could herd this Dick. Besides, Dick’s Dad didn’t come back from Dunkirk in WW2, no way in hell Dick is buying a German, Italian, Jap or French car.

A kid wheelies past deliberately close, close enough for Dick to smell the skunk he has somewhere on him. Damn kids. What is he, 14? Where’s his Ma? Sucking cock for rock on some street corner no doubt. Another victim in a town of lost souls. Can’t hate the kid, he ain’t got nothing. But Dick ain’t no babysitter. There’s plenty of women to do that. Not many folk prepared to do what Dick Stoodley does.

Dick had a mac like Columbo’s off the telly for 15 years. There’s always a Dick pressed up against a mac. Dick’s got so stained with blood and gravy it looked like a butchers apron. Dick bashed a lot of meat in those years, a normal man would have gone blind, seeing what Dick’s seen.

Dick’s boss, weasel Barry, was a short, fat man so spineless Dick was surprised he could walk. Barry told Dick the mac had to go, it was scaring folk. Barry had his uses. He took the referrals, he dealt with the clients face to face, he showed sympathy, he pretended to care. Dick would rather not do that. Its not that Dick was bad with people. Dick was Dick. Its just people seemed to struggle with that. Barry and the others, they don’t know what’s really going on. Reality is a bitch, too harsh for some.

So Dick has a new coat, a Hathersage jacket from Mamnick that his sister got him. She said “it had big pockets that might be useful for doing whatever the hell it is Dick did all day”. Hysterical woman. Dick didn’t like the jacket but was meeting her for an Indian later so felt obliged to wear it.

Its a bit orange for a start, and it only had a single button on it. What in holy hell is that all about. And its made of wool. An orange woollen cloak. In Rotherham. 10 minutes in this rain and it will be so heavy the wearer will be paralysed. ISIS must be behind this. Man’s gotta take a gay disability jacket into a gun fight. What a day.

Dick spits his Lammy & Butler into the gutter, the coal coloured water extinguishes the embers immediately, and its swept silently away into the darkness. Evil black water. Dick swishes his cloak and follows the butt down the road towards the house.

Dick didn’t get in. He’d been a dick online and sided with a wrong un, so they told him to fuck off. He’d never get invited to parties ever again. And they laughed at his new coat. Wankers.

Chapter 1
Its 3pm and dark in Rotherham. Its raining. Its always dark and raining in Rotherham.

Dick Stoodley P.I was sat in his battered grey Ford Mondeo on the corner of Soft Southern Latte Rd, it could be a long night, it was a stakeout.

It had already been a long old shift for Dick. His shirt was a diary of the day. Traces of egg McMuffin from breakfast, curry sauce and whiskey from lunch, and blood.

It wasn’t his blood. It was the blood of some Dame, found face down in a puddle at 2am that morning on the corner of Loser Street. Dick was there by 2.30am. Dick always came early.

Strangulation was the cause of the death. Poor broad. Didn’t look like she had much of a life. Dick knew from the holes her in her arms that it was her addiction that really killed her. Forced her down these dark alleys to do God knows what. Crying shame.

Someone needed to pay. Dick had no evidence but concluded it was totes obvs the Muslims fault.

Dick was in the mood for rearranging faces, but where were they? Hiding behind avatars and pseudonyms that’s where. Pussies. It boiled Dick’s piss, but that might be the STI he got from banging your missus last night.

Dick was mad. You wouldn’t like a mad Dick. Most people didn’t like Dick when he wasn’t mad. Dick was hard to like. Apart from those southerners, they loved Dick. They hammered that Dick so hard.

Chapter 2 - Dick Stoodley P.I. gets coat

Is Mamnick actually trying to appeal to the Alt-right in the hope of having his brand selected as their unofficial casual ‘uniform’, like a wannabe 80’s football hooligan fashionista?

I suspect the bobble-hat wearing alt-right fascist cyclist crowd with a taste for Laura Ashley inspired hanker-chiefs, is a vanishing small demographic. That market being unlikely to make anyone their millions, I can’t this as being anything other the biggest company car crash PR ever, they’ll soon be doing case studies in business schools on this thread.

I am taking the piss unfairly of Dick Stoodley, or rather Dick Stoodley P.I. the Mike Hammer of northern England, there’s some great material there….. Bless him he clearly spent days on that cry-wank poem.

I apologise for taking the piss out of your name Dick Stoodley, you didn’t choose your name, its not your fault, and its your cross to bear. But you do choose your friends or friend. I’ll pass on the Yorkshire Tea, get in the Yorkshire Sea.

If I was called Rich Stoodley I'd do everything in my power to hide behind a faceless avatar, but really shouldn't that be Dick Stoodley.

There was once was a thread called Mamnick
The products they looked a bit shit
The owner arrived to much surprise
And started swinging his dick

He stole others work, he sounded alt-right
He copied and pasted late into the night
A man of the people, he went on rants
With nasty opinions excused as bantz

Sock puppets arrived to defend him
But even more arrived condemning
Online or off, in person or not
Thom proved he’s not worth defending

The libtards took stock of this twat
Wearing that daft bobble hat
He had some front so we called him a cunt
On his bonnet we collectively shat

He can't be over 50, the L for losers comment means he's surely not even old enough to be allowed in a pub, just waiting for the follow up 'and your mums a minger, no back answers!' grand finale.

Harsh indeed, the goats were only taking the piss.

@umop3pisdn yep nearly finished, the bike has the primer/undercoat done and is awaiting the final layer of proper colour ;)

Dropping all that coin and its fucking grey, shame on the owner, nothing grey can be HHSB. I'd go as far as to say grey is the antithesis of HHSB, more associated with a boring accountant.

I bet that nobber serves food off black square slabs of slate.....

I wouldn't want to be riding around in kit that's in any way associated with this cringe-lord and his personal views.

I'd never heard of them before this thread, so just had a quick google.....well no chance the above is going to happen......err has anyone mentioned yet that EVERYTHING they sell is overpriced and shit? Its like Vulpine but worse. If I got any of that tat for free for Chrimbo I'd be fucking gutted, (take note family!), so paying for it is a massive step too far

A foliage pocket square (hankerchief/snot rag to you and me) for £40... TROLLOLOL
https://www.mamnick.com/products/foliage-pocketsquare

The design looks like its taken from the wallpaper backdrop to the local children's nursery's nature table. And knowing the homage cough stealing cough form of the owner, that's probably exactly what he's done. The design would undoubtedly be improved by showering it in snot, at least its a hanky and not a t-shirt I suppose.....

And his bike up-thread just looks like a Foffa with a pink stripe painted on the inside of the fork, so Rapha from like a decade ago, piss poor lame clone and lacking any originality.

Much cutting edge, many fashion, wow.

I shall next take note of this brand when I hear its done a Vulpine and has literally got in the sea.

But it is a comedy font....oh :|

And thanks to that I'm forevermore going to be reading that brand in that font as Cannon and Dale's balls, marketing fail of the highest order.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRCOXADfADY