With a bike this ugly, you don't need to lock it properly
So the real world.
This. Get tyres for the roads/tracks you actually ride on, not the silky smooth ones that you aspire to ride on
Meanwhile on the continent
Yep. The round ones that come in unbranded kits.
Spoke key
The same Instagram account recently showed a suspiciously similar looking bike with drop bars. So maybe it was set up with drops but they snapped a pic with flat bars as well
https://www.instagram.com/p/CgF74RGB39a/
Nor is there any in the Palatinate hills!
Rhineland-Palatinate, just south of Neustadt
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With a bike this ugly, you don't need to lock it properly