Securing a Brooks saddle against theft

I live in London's famous London, bike theft capital of wherever.
I want to use a Brooks, but also lock my bike up outside often.
How can I secure it to the frame? The options seem to be:

• Use a hexlock/ball bearing glued into the seat post pin/saddle clamp bolt. Does this work?
  
• Take an old chain and loop it through saddle rails and top tube. But I've heard of others having this chain cut and then they take the saddle straight away.
  
• Take the seatpost and saddle off every time you lock the bike. Can't be bothered with this.
  
• ??
  
  

Any comments welcome.

Apply Tynan's anti-theft paste liberally...

Torx safety bolts might be enough to stop an opportunist.

I use a Hexlox on a plain black post and scruffy Fizik saddle for peace of mind, bar cutting through the post or smashing the seat clamp i'm not sure how they'd get it off.

What bike is it on? Your Trek? What about putting a mangy seat cover on when you park up? They don't tend to look too out of place on old MTB's.

^that. I had a Brooks B17 narrow nicked from the usual spot I locked it the day I’d accidentally left it uncovered (it was cabled, that got snipped). They took the SR seatpost too #sniffle#

Lidl plastic bag had worked up until then.

Tynan's anti-theft paste

what's this? or is it a euphemism for something else

yeah, on the trek's replacement which is a little nicer.
I am currently thinking ball bearing + beeswax in the bolt heads.

It’s @tynan ‘s special secret home made recipe. Repels thieves.

Its good stuff - lasts for ages - ask your LBS.

once you’re 100% happy with saddle height and angle, round out the bolts with a drill bit so they’re perfectly round/useless/only removable with a drill.

I did the ball bearing and superglue trick before and was shocked how easy it was to pick out with a knife.

Security bolts etc., plus a plastic bag/manky seat cover for parking, to make it blend in as any old normal saddle. Plastic bag/seat cover is then stuffed into the rails or in your bag/pocket when riding?

Pop back and do wot dis guy did every 30 min: https://road.cc/content/news/77536-danish-police-seek-man-who-repeatedly-masturbates-womans-bicycle-saddle

Every 30 minutes?

OK, make it 54 min.

I did the ball bearing and superglue trick and I had to use an angle grinder to cut the bolt off...

What about candle wax instead of super glue is an idea I've had.
Make it impossible to steal with out digging out the ball bearing embedded in the wax.
Easily done yourself when required. With the right utensils. Worst case scenario mild heat to melt the wax.

Mild heat is easily created with a cigarette lighter.

Use a hexlock/ball bearing glued into the seat post pin/saddle clamp bolt. Does this work?

Take an old chain and loop it through saddle rails and top tube. But I've heard of others having this chain cut and then they take the saddle straight away.

I do both of these on my wife's bike as she has to lock on Waterloo Bridge everyday, it's lasted 7 years the chain has been cut twice but I just use that as a visual deterrent, ball bearing stops anyone, just make sure you do seat post bolt and the saddle rail clamp and get a tight fit.

Bit of a pain when you need to move them but doesn't take too long to get them out the acetone.

Did you try digging it out with a sharp knife though?

Fill the head of the bolt with superglue, it can either be chipped out or removed with acetone. If it cant be simply removed I doubt they'll persevere. Alternatively... fill the heads with Sugru is difficult to remove, but comes out in one piece, and you can re use it.

I used a pinhead seat post clamp and the bearing + glue method for the post head.

But my saddles were throw away crap stuff

I contemplated stabbing myself with one. Bearing size matters. I learned my lesson.

😂

Got my old brooks stolen yesterday with seatpost on Bethnal Green road next to Rich Mix cinema, not best place to leave your bike anyway...

I use a really nice sprung off-roader brooks on my town bike. Pitlock, chain section wrapped in inner tube, & mostly use my Abus cable lock thru saddle rails, stand, rear wheel & triangle. Just fits. Make it a right faff to nick.