Bike smuggling

I work for a well known rapid transit organisation .At most locations we have Union representatives.Because there are numerous Unions there are numerous reps.At my place of work the health and safety reps are Nazis.One in particular has banned cycles from the building(This guy insisted on the Christmas tree lights being pat tested before they could be switched on) a few of us would store cycles in the locker room out of harms way. A cycle shed has been provided about 300m away, there is one key which has to be signed in and out of the office by each user.Using the shed is hassle and adds time on your day.
I have decided to smuggle a bike into the building component by component and build up the bike when all the pieces are there.
Today I successfully smuggled the saddle and handlebars in unnoticed.
Does anyone have any tips on smuggling larger items such as wheels and frames?

Laundry bag

Be surprised what will fit.

Post it to yourself at work via a competitors company, and loudly remark how competent and speedy their service is

In this, as in so many things, Johnny Cash is your friend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWHniL8MyMM

Get Monsieur Mangetout to eat your bike, then come in your workplace and do a shit.

You could possibly fit a frame and wheels into a surfboard bag?

Just turn up in some shorts and a rash vest, no one will be any the wiser dude/brah/bud

Good idea,
I've got a shortie wetsuit,that would really be convincing !

The main difficulties are obviously the wheels and frame. Both fit behind shelving units/wardrobes/cupboards quite well. I hid a frame and three wheels in my wardrobe behind my shirts for ages.

In our old flat in Hammersmith, we had a narrow void/loft space above the bathroom. I hid shitloads of stuff up there, away from the prying eyes of the missus.

And then I got caught.

.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is

Currently hiding a wheel,saddle and handlebars behind the corner locker,which just happens to be next to the H+S reps locker😂

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Has anyone even noticed that the middle one should be 236? :)

surely a mental H&S issue

Looks like we need ocd reps now as well

My hiding place is getting busy.
Managed to smuggle a frame in yesterday.
Just need a rear wheel to complete.
Don't worry I'll be changing the saddle !

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I'm not sure I'm following...is the intent to assemble and disassemble the bike every time you commute?

Ha ha.

Great thread.

Maybe at each stage of construction you should take a picture someplace different throughout the office.

Old bill is jokes. We assemble bikes all day, we no get catched.

Is the politburo checking all the lokers for potato?

Any false ceilings? I reckon those tiles might be big enough on the diagonal to get some wheels up there.

No!
One of the health and safety reps has banned bikes from the building.
He's really pissing off everyone,posters are not allowed on the wall because they are a 'fire hazard'.
One guy was sleeping in the quiet room he was woken by this rep to be told the light must be on at all times in case of fire(to see the way out)
I'm smuggling components into the building to build a bike just to wind him up.

Potato only dream.

Great thread! Reminds me of the h&s swine who banned our toaster in the kitchen. We only had one little fire, and I say if it was contained within the toaster, it was more just well-done toast?