How do you troll

Im talking being bit of a joker at work or playing harmless office pranks. Not being a douchebag twitter troll?

I recently cable tied all the scissors handles together in the office for giggles.

just imagine if there had been an emergency situation that needed scissors
you could have been responsible for someones death

think about that before you play any more silly pranks whilst, i hasten to add, on the company dollar

just like that ^

I did some trolling on Lake Windermere back in the Summer of 1983. It was blazing hot, and I was out in a little rowing boat with my dad and, I think, my big sister. My aim was to catch char, a fairly rare member of the trout family that lives in a number of lakes in that part of the country.

The method involved dropping a line over the back of the boat while my dad (a) dropped part of my new fishing rod over the side, never to be seen again and (b) rowed patiently across Pull Wyke, one of the deeper parts of the lake. Attached to the line was a special weight and, at the very far end, a little metal lure that would flutter in the water, the plan being that the flashing and fluttering of the lure would trigger an aggressive response from the predatory char and result in me catching it.

Despite my having to use a rather shortened fishing rod (thanks dad) I did manage to catch three fish that day. One trout, one char and one fish that, after my father had eaten it and I had the photos back from Truprint about four weeks later, turned out to be a young salmon below the legal limit for keeping. All three were small but very tasty, and the owner of the rowing boat was genuinely surprised that an idiot like me was capable of catching such things.

I hide under a bridge. YMMV

Guy in the office usually uses scissors to get into his 59p microwave noodles. COULD HAVE STARVED TO DEATH

switching round the M and the N on peoples key boards can be a good laught. The last bloke I did it to rang the IT help desk to try and resolve the issue.

Auditors are in at the moment. I wait until our financial director is near them and loudly ask him really hilarious questions such as "can I be paid in cash again this month" and "remind me, what's our Cayman Islands account number?"

Hilarious

Print out lots of small trollface.jpegs and sellotape them over the optical sensor on peoples mouse. It takes most people a couple of tries of unplugging and re-plugging the moues before they look underneath. When they finally realise, the point is really hammered home with the obnoxious picture.

your thread title should have a question mark at the end. and the y in you should be in capital letters. otherwise, it sounds like your are asking for instructions on how to troll

If someone leaves their computer unlocked, edit their signature with a very small typo like 'accunt planner' or 'account detector' and wait.

Also, edit autocorrect on their outlook to change 'dear' to 'der'. Watch madness ensue.

I like to sneak up behind people at night, beat them around the head with a length of pipe and steal their cash.

#megalols

I also like to troll vegetarians. I've developed a way of cooking a soya and nut based sauce that tastes like it's got cheese in it. Really it's vegan. #DozyFuckers

You too?! We should totally form a club.. just like these wonderful English chaps did..

Oooh, a club with hats. I like it already. Is there a secret language as well?

Not asking for instructions on how to troll but just looking to see how other people troll ahah.
I did print out a £5 note with half of it blank.. with a troll face on and left it under a key board with the troll face hidden.

Person at reception/call centre/wherever asking me to identify myself with a question I find really strange:
"What was the name?"

To which I usually feign bewilderment:
"Me? You mean what was my name? What was it? Oh, well it was Loretta. But now it's Ben."

I am a pedantic cunt and I claim my £5.

I have a Liam Neeson soundboard for those type of calls.

http://youtu.be/1SXsCkKuvOU?t=6s

I've not worked in an office for years but....

set the mouse to left handed

set screen saver to "blank screen" and get it to start after a 2 second delay, had some one call IT as the computer kept switching off

It's Windermere, not Lake Windermere: the final four letters mean that adding the lake is a tautology. Bassenthwaite Lake is the only 'lake' in the Lake District.

Is this OK?

Once I snuck out the house in the dead of night, put on a balaclava then kicked down the front door, shouting, stormed into the bedroom and pretended to burgle our house, the look on my ex-wife's face was priceless!

I subtly encourage people to click on "mark all read".

I'm proud of this because it was a legit troll.

Screenshot someones desktop, set it as wallpaper and then delete all the actual icons. Watch them repeated click the screen without anything happening.

Or send a load of p0rn to the client database using their email. A merry jape every time.

See if netsend works via command prompt...

Hah! I remember that during ICT at school, we had a lots of fun with that scaring the other pupils.