I got yentzed by a lorry driver last night

I was riding in the middle of the road last night being a right antagonistic cunt - I love winding up drivers
This 7tonne lorry came up behind me indicating to go right, he started beeping at me so I slowed right down, took my hands off the bars and started to give him the wanker sign with both hands. He carried on beeping so I slowed down and he came up next to me, I called him a 'fucking cunt, this is my road and I can cycle how I like'

With that he pulled over, got out, came round and grabbed me round the throat, threw me to the ground....I started to run away then he caught me up and gave me a right good whack round the earhole! I fell to the floor and got up again and legged it!
I need advice please, what should I do, what did I do wrong??

Have you tried learning a martial art, like fencing or yoga?

Was thinking that? But don't people who do that end up turning into complete helmets?

chuck a grenade into the cab before you cal him a cunt. problem solved.

I think this conflict could have been avoided with cycle training, yoga, fencing, railways and a dutch bike.

Was thinking that? But don't people who do that end up turning into complete helmets?

Were you wearing a helmet?

...this thread seems a little poor in taste, if I read between the lines.

carry nunchucks with you and show off some skill.
YouTube - Nunchucks Pro

is this another pisti parody thread?

You should have offered him a blow job. ;o)

is this another pisti parody thread?

But, but, but.....I want everyone to look at me and talk about me and milk an 11page thread as I feel I'm a victim here

Pussy

This doesn't seem like you at all G.

Pussy

Think you're being harsh there.

But, but, but.....I want everyone to look at me and talk about me and milk an 11page thread as I feel I'm a victim here

Tell the Daily Mail - they love a victim.

Tell the Daily Mail - they love a victim.

Was thinking more The Evening Standard

Fuck! Busted :-(

Weapon

You need a weapon.

And a belter (whatever that might be) as well as a whopper for lunch.

Was thinking more The Evening Standard

They just like the downfall of LFC.

seriously can we just close this?

while he's beating on you, stare longingly into his eyes, without so much as raising a fist in retalliation, making him instantly fall head over heals in love with you, after making sweet, sweet love in the back of his lorry whilst tenderly holding each other in the afterglow of your union, promise never to let the cruel, cynical eyes of society judge you for sharing the beautiful agony of a love that dare not speak its name. after leaving your respective partners, move to a lovely bungalow in Bognor Regis by the sea where you earn a meagre crust breeding show-chinchillas and spending your sunday afternoons playing scrabble, drinking lightly oaked chardonnay and going to antiques fairs in the neighbouring village where you garner quite a reputation for being collectors of porcelain dogs. as you enter into your dotage, your love is as strong and unshakable today as it was all those years ago when your paths first crossed. then one day just up and leave him, leaving a note saying you've run off to Guam with a one armed pre-op transexual called 'Raoul' and take a poo on the angora sweater he bought you as an anniversary present. that'll show the fucker.

^It's 11.15 on a Thursday morning. Are you smoking crack?

And a belter (whatever that might be) as well as a whopper for lunch.

Don't forget the melt either.