Poems / poetry / verse

i need to find a poem to animate...do any of you educated chaps have any suggestions? the funnier the better :)
thanks!

any particular subject matter?

one of spike milligan's limerics? can't think of any of the top of my head but some of them are a bit oddball.

How about this John Hegley one;

A Love Poem by my Dog

I saw you in the park
I wanted to be your friend
I tunnelled my snout
Up your non-barking end

not really...i want a funny poem to make the work more bearable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AOOkErXIgg

MULGA BILL'S BICYCLE by A.B. "Banjo" Paterson
'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze;
He turned away the good old horse that served him many days;
He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen;
He hurried off to town and bought a shining new machine;
And as he wheeled it through the door, with air of lordly pride,
The grinning shop assistant said, "Excuse me, can you ride?"

"See here, young man," said Mulga Bill, "from Walgett to the sea,
From Conroy's Gap to Castlereagh, there's none can ride like me.
I'm good all round at everything as everybody knows,
Although I'm not the one to talk - I hate a man that blows.
But riding is my special gift, my chiefest, sole delight;
Just ask a wild duck can it swim, a wildcat can it fight.
There's nothing clothed in hair or hide, or built of flesh or steel,
There's nothing walks or jumps, or runs, on axle, hoof, or wheel,
But what I'll sit, while hide will hold and girths and straps are tight:
I'll ride this here two-wheeled concern right straight away at sight."

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that sought his own abode,
That perched above Dead Man's Creek, beside the mountain road.
He turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray,
But 'ere he'd gone a dozen yards it bolted clean away.
It left the track, and through the trees, just like a silver steak,
It whistled down the awful slope towards the Dead Man's Creek.

It shaved a stump by half an inch, it dodged a big white-box:
The very wallaroos in fright went scrambling up the rocks,
The wombats hiding in their caves dug deeper underground,
As Mulga Bill, as white as chalk, sat tight to every bound.
It struck a stone and gave a spring that cleared a fallen tree,
It raced beside a precipice as close as close could be;
And then as Mulga Bill let out one last despairing shriek
It made a leap of twenty feet into the Dean Man's Creek.

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that slowly swam ashore:
He said, "I've had some narrer shaves and lively rides before;
I've rode a wild bull round a yard to win a five-pound bet,
But this was the most awful ride that I've encountered yet.
I'll give that two-wheeled outlaw best; it's shaken all my nerve
To feel it whistle through the air and plunge and buck and swerve.
It's safe at rest in Dead Man's Creek, we'll leave it lying still;
A horse's back is good enough henceforth for Mulga Bill."

The Sydney Mail, 25 July 1896.

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

fatty and skinny went up in a rocket....

ill get me coat

:d

I made up this tongue twister when I was a kid:

A fat frog flew from Florida,
from Florida flew a fat frog.

I was stoked then and I still am now!

you should be :)

oh pointy birds;
o pointy pointy,
anoint my head;
anointy nointy

if your animation has sound, you could do an Ivor Cutler piece...

http://www.ivorcutler.org/

when mary was young ,she had a little quim
i used to play around with it and stick my finger in
now shes getting older and losing half her charm
i can get my finger in and half my fucking arm

aidan a bit off topic but what is your avatar? It's really beginning to bug me that i can't work out what it is.
Is it a little yellow canary?
Or a yellow whale with a big blowhole and sparrow legs?
Or a faceless, limbless yellow brontosaurus?
Or a decapitated yellow elephant head?

JUST FUCKING TELL ME IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME INSANE

have a closer look

aaaaaaaah it's a stylised 'a'.
I feel much better now.

'a' for 'aiden'

;-p

ahh, i always though it was some designy chair with a belly button... and a little more magic leaves the world.

it's ALL coming together now.

hassanr ahh, i always though it was some designy chair with a belly button... and a little more magic leaves the world.

im sorry:(

This is one of my favourites, I can't remember who it is by I think it is John Hegley.

The Electric Chair;

The jolts.
The volts.
The end.

Wilfred Owen's my favourite poet. Not very on brief as it's not funny - he was a war poet - but amazing:

Dulce Et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

I thought it was some creature that had stuck it's head back down into it's self and then was poking around inside trying to get out.