Wasps

I live in the countryside. I have a studio where I work, it's a cabin. It's dry and smells invitingly of pine. Over the last couple of days a big wasp has been visiting. It turns up and hangs around in the rafters inspecting the wood. It leaves me alone to get on with work so I don't mind its presence, although the buzzing of a wasp does put you on edge a little.

Today it turned up again and floated in through the window, and I watched it idly cross the room and buzz towards the roof apex. I put my headphones on and carried on working. Suddenly it was on me - it landed right on my hairline and crawled down onto my forehead. I squealed in a manly way and shook my head, and it stung me right in the middle of my brow. Then it ambled casually off over to a wall, whereupon I seized a book and battered its little bastard head to death.

*

When I was a kid my Dad used to take me mountain biking in the North Downs. We went to find bomb craters from the war, perfect scooped out half-pipes that made for huge jumps. To get to our favourite site we had to cycle round the edge of a lake. There's a footpath that takes you round. On one side of the path there's a high sandstone cliff, and on the other a straight drop into the water below.

I'm a glasses wearer. As we bombed round the path a wasp somehow got trapped in behind my glasses, in front of my eye. It stung me squarely on the eyelid. In my panic and at some speed I lurched off the path and plopped down through the air, with bike, into the lake. As I swam to the surface spluttering and one-eyed, all I remember in my blurry vision was my Dad, still on the high path above, doubled up over his bike in laughter and slapping his thigh repeatedly.

Fucking wasps.

one died on my window sill.

DJ loves wasps

what goes around comes around my friend

Was hoping this was rugby related. Go Wasps!

I prefer bees. You know, some people don't like honey! Twats.

When I was living in Southampton .. I was asleep with my girlfriend at my time ... it was July and we had all the windows open as well as the balcony window open in an effort to keep ourselves cool.

I woke up with her screaming ... there was over about 100 wasps in our little flat. Once she woke me she ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I then tried swatting the wasps ... this was too slow .. I then found the hover and proceded to hover the wasps up ... worked a treat ... I still had over about 10 or 15 stings ...

I woke up with her screaming ...

I prefer bees. You know, some people don't like honey! Twats.

It is sweet, the older generation don't too much of it ... However at least honey isn't bullshit food ... it good shit, especially a tablespoon in my porridge.

The black guy being in my student room while we were both sleeping was a whole different story.

(he didn't have flies coming from his mouth though).

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAcj_EsWXwQ&feature=related"]YouTube-
Wasp- Scream Until You Like It[/ame]

The "big wasp" you described in the first post was most likely a queen, out of hibernation and looking for a place to start building a nest (hence the buzzing around the beams and inspecting the woodwork). Killing one wasp at this time of year can save you having to spend the summer dodging loads of them....
I actually quite like wasps to look at, but having a wasps nest near your house is a nightmare.

I thought so too, Bad Science. I had terrible guilt about killing this earth mother wasp and depriving our ecosystem of her family's jam eating, beer sipping ways. I like jam and beer.
But then I won't sting you in the foot when you tread on my dead body.

Wasps are annoying as they seem to have a willingness to get on you/in your face. thankfully I only get them in the garden if theres over-ripe fruit left on the trees. Otherwise it is pretty wasp free and I am glad.

Have heaps of bees though, lots of different species.

If bees weren't so wonderfully benign, wasps wouldn't look like such a bunch of pricks.

If you think wasps are pricks, wait til you meet a hornet. Boy oh boy don't get me started on those motherfuckers.

i killed a wasp today.
fucker wouldn't fly out of my house after gentle coaxing for 15 mins, so i decided that its lack of intelligence would not be missed in the wasp gene pool.
last night there was one chilling on my pillow. i let it fly free by chucking it out of the window.
i hate wasps, but don't like killing them.

last night there was one chilling on my pillow.

This must have been strangely cute.

Wasp:

Hornet:

My money's on the hornet.

Hornet stings are 1,000,000x more powerful and the fuckers are quicker and stronger.

One stung me on the head when I was 8.

And they bite. Cunts.

Why do people continue to be so scared of wasps and hornets? Don't hit them or alarm them and you'll generally be fine. They're non-aggressive animals, especially hornets. Honeybees are more aggressive than either wasps or hornets.

Hornet stings are 1,000,000x more powerful and the fuckers are quicker and stronger.

One stung me on the head when I was 8.

Did your head look like a hornets' nest even then? ;P

I'm not scared, I'm just bitter.

I was 8, FFS. 8!