Anyone know how to cook noodles?

Anyone know how to cook noodles, I bought some cheap noodles from a man in Ladbrokes but they came without the packet - he did write down the instructions but I lost them when I was arrested, does anyone know how to cook them.

I have a pan.

You'd need some water. Call Thames Water or knock your neighbour's door.

You'd need some water. Call Thames Water or knock your neighbour's door.

There is a restraining order to overcome.

Boiled water, noodles, bowl, mix, season, cover, cigarette, uncover, eat.

If you've got enough money to buy noodles you ought to have enough money to pay someone to cook them for you. Get them to eat them for you, while they're at it.

Are you sure these are authentic noodles? Be careful there are some doggy counterfeit noodles out there, some say they are spaghetti others say they are tape worms taken from Africans. All official noodle seller are registered with the RNSA (Royal noodle seller association). I doubt if your man from Ladbrokes was registered. If in doubt feed some to your dog / child or cat and observe the effects on them.

Better safe than sorry, you don't want to take chances with noodles.

This is my noodle tree.

There is a restraining order to overcome.

For both?

I like to slow cook my noodles. The best way to do this is to stick them in a bowl and leave them outside until it has rained for a couple of hours. Once they're nice and soft, pop them in the microwave for an hour and enjoy. Lovely.

If you're in a hurry, toast them over and open fire and eat with about a pint of Irn Bru

Fuck Noodles and your chinese sympathising ways, you got what you deserved for chosing that path

wtf are noodles?

They're used on V brakes to run cables through.

Fresh Noodles? Or cheap dirty super noodles.

Anyone know how to cook noodles, I bought some cheap noodles from a man in Ladbrokes but they came without the packet - he did write down the instructions but I lost them when I was arrested, does anyone know how to cook them.

I have a pan.

Anyone know how to cook noodles, I bought some cheap noodles from a man in Ladbrokes but they came without the packet - he did write down the instructions but I lost them when I was arrested, does anyone know how to cook them.

I have a pan.

A bit vague ...
What sort of Noodles ? I think if anyone is going to be able to help you with this you will have to provide more information.
If you're still having problems try your local Chippy*.

*English Streetfood outlet (not B and Q)

               +

The aboriginals of Outer Borneo do a mean English Noodle meal. But you have to turn up in person for it. Helpful also if you have a sauna seconds before entering the space where the Englishman is prepared.......for the feast.

Though many may mock this, English food is very tasty.....especially when washed down with a nice Chianti. Ffffff ffffff ffffff.