Piles

really bad piles - is there a saddle which won't aggravate .....

Just slap on a load of Anusol - I love asking for that stuff at the chemist - it's not for me you understand...

Google "saddle sores".. it just means you are a filthy human and need thorough cleaning.

get yourself a spacehopper
mucho comfortable

UTFS, this grape's been plucked before.

http://www.londonfgss.com/thread20102.html?highlight=saddle+sores

UTFS

Unweight The Firey Sphincter?

Unleash, not Unweight.

Should be pretty. ;)

Actually I have to withdraw that post. I was convinced we'd done this before so I failed to... UTFS.

& double sided sticky tape.

UTFS, this grape's been plucked before.

A harrowing analogy there, Skully!

SS Recumbent FTW

+1 let shit time be more relaxing and less of a straining affair.

Piles = 'roids?

+

=

Unweight The Firey Sphincter?

Balki you funny fucker.

How about more fibre in your diet.

+1, very few people eat enough fibre, take a supplement if you can't get enough in your diet. Extra fibre is a sure-fire way to keep the 'roids at bay.

"Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you'll get cancer and die."

I've worked at that ^ agency.

I came up with the strapline for Vladivar's new overproof vodka - "Forget more of your life more quickly". It flew off the shelves.